I have two boys, 7 and 9, both of whom have birthdays in late spring and early summer. Each year we celebrate with their favorite meal and cake of their choice with family.
Of course, they get presents, but otherwise, we keep it simple. We might go to the park or do something fun for the day, like swimming or going to a splash pad as a family.
Why we opt for simple parties
Keeping it simple lets them enjoy their big day without being too tired or overwhelmed, and lets my husband and me focus on the kids rather than spend hours planning. In their first few years, we did blow-outs and soon decided it wasn’t worth it. It was expensive, a ton of work, and there was so much cleaning after the party. Most of the time was spent talking with guests rather than focusing on our children and enjoying the time with them.
They were exhausted and overstimulated, and so were we. And that was before the cleanup. Even when we rented a location, there was ample cleanup and unloading.
So we stopped doing it.
Now, our celebrations are small and simple
We found a new way to celebrate birthdays that’s much more low-key; it’s just us, some good food, and lots of fun.
The boys sometimes ask for bigger parties, especially if they are invited to one. I haven’t given in; instead of turning it into a negative, I focus on how fun it is that they were invited and got to be part of it. Rather than saying, “No, we’re not doing that,” I try to frame it as, “How cool that you get to go experience that!” And there’s never been any fuss after that.
There have also been multiple times where I show up to these parties to see tired moms who say they’ll never throw such a big party again. Of course, I share my philosophy, but I also say that each family has to do what’s best for them.
Our kids get to make a lot of choices on their big day
Even though we keep it small, our kids still get so many choices on their big day, and they’ve never felt like they’re an afterthought. They get to pick the entire dinner for everyone, down to sides and the type of cake and frosting. (They both choose the same thing every year — sloppy joes for one and steak for the other.)
We decorate in a theme of their choice and put up banners that often stay up for days, just because they aren’t ready to take them down.
They also get to choose what I cook them for breakfast. Then we do family activities they choose, whether it’s a bike ride, baseball, or just hanging out in the yard. Often, it’s tailored to the day of the week, the weather, or whatever else we have going on.
For instance, my youngest son had to go to school on his 7th birthday; he asked to go to the park afterward before getting ice cream. That evening, I asked how his birthday had been, and he said, “Great, but can we do it again tomorrow?” That told us everything we needed to know — he had a blast.
Meanwhile, this year my oldest wanted to watch a golf tournament at the local course — we watched a few holes before going to a movie. Simple, but still completely their own.
Ultimately, this is what works for our family. We make it a personal celebration without an overwhelming amount of fanfare. Besides, we only have so many birthdays with them to celebrate, and I want to be present with them while we celebrate, rather than feel like an event planner.
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