Last year, my nervous system felt like it was always in survival mode. I’d just moved to Seattle for work, leaving most of my friends in sunny California.
Seattle winters, meanwhile, are known for being rainy and gloomy rather than snowy. The sun would set around 5 p.m., and it wasn’t uncommon for me to go months without seeing more than a glimpse of sunshine.
I was also dealing with a lot of pain and some big changes. On top of my new, full-time job — which came with long hours and seemingly constant deadlines — I was grieving the loss of my dad while navigating ongoing issues in my eight-year relationship, which would eventually lead to a breakup.
In short, it was the hardest year of my life. Now, over a year later, my life looks very different — thanks to some routines I built when I felt like absolutely everything was falling apart.
Strength training became a lifeline
With so much uncertainty in my life, I needed a steady anchor. For me, that became strength training at the gym.
I committed to working out four to five days a week, even if I could only squeeze a quick 30-minute session into my schedule. It gave me structure when everything else felt unstable, and over time, I noticed it significantly reduced my anxiety.
The impact became clear when I had to skip workouts for a week due to work. Within 10 days, I experienced three panic attacks. Nothing else in my life had changed except this routine.
I gave myself one slow morning every week — and replaced scrolling with reading before bed
Adjusting to my new job was tough. Even after a full night’s sleep, I would wake up feeling anxious about deadlines.
To counter that, I created a simple ritual. Every Saturday morning, I allowed myself to stay in bed until noon — even if I woke up early. I’d recite affirmations, read, or just rest. Over time, this became a reset that I felt myself carrying into the rest of the week.
I changed my bedtime routine, too. Those first few months in Seattle, nights were the hardest. My thoughts would spiral — about work, my dad, my breakup, and the loneliness of starting over in a new city. Scrolling through Instagram only made it worse.
Eventually, I replaced that habit with reading before bed. I started with “A Court of Thorns and Roses” by Sarah J. Maas, a romantic fantasy series that helped me mentally step away from my reality.
Reading became a signal to my brain to unwind. It helped relax my body, slow my thoughts, and fall asleep more peacefully.
Volunteering helped me build community
With my mother in India and my brother in Kuwait, I felt completely alone in Seattle. Most of my close friends were in California, where I’d previously lived for an internship. I hadn’t built a community here yet, and at times, I felt completely overwhelmed.
To counter that, I started volunteering at my Ismaili community center. It gave me more than I expected: I met new people, formed meaningful connections, and felt a renewed sense of purpose.
Aside from the obvious benefit of making friends, spending time with older members of the community and listening to their stories reminded me that I was part of something larger than myself.
I changed my environment to reset my focus and spent more time outside
On particularly stressful days, staying at the same desk made it harder to concentrate. So, I started changing my surroundings.
Sometimes I moved to a different floor. Other times, I worked from our office building’s café to enjoy a more laid-back environment and the gorgeous views of snow-capped mountains. I found that even these small changes improved my productivity and mood.
Outside work hours, I also pushed myself to spend more time out in nature. Whenever Seattle offered even a little sunshine, I took advantage of it.
Most days, that meant going for an evening walk or to a beach park. Sunlight, water, and greenery helped me feel grounded again.
Implementing these habits and routines didn’t fix everything overnight, but 14 months later, I’m still in Seattle and no longer overwhelmed and alone.
I feel grounded in community, in control at work, and emotionally steady in a way that I didn’t think was possible a year ago.
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