My mom has always been a barrel of fun. She has one of those vivacious personalities and is full of high-spirited energy. It’s hard to feel glum when she’s in the room, because she just ups the vibe, even at 77.
One of my favorite new sounds is her very distinct laugh mixed in with the laughter of my three children through the floorboards in her house. Usually, mom’s playing “cocoon” with the kids, whereby she rolls them up in her doona, then yanks one side and sends them shooting across the bed. They love it.
Hearing my children having fun with Nana has become a daily occurrence in our household. In January, we moved from regional Victoria, in Australia, to the Gold Coast, to be closer to my parents. To save money, my folks offered us the downstairs of their double-story house.
There are pros and cons to multi-generational living, but so far, the benefits definitely outweigh the negatives. For me, the biggest positive is the time my kids are spending with their grandparents, and vice versa.
My folks are actively involved
Living with my parents means they’re actively involved in the kids’ lives. They help with school pick-ups and drop-offs, as well as getting them off to gymnastics or football practice.
For my folks, I think being hands-on in the kids’ day-to-day lives has given them a stronger sense of purpose. They know that at 81 and 77, they’re still very much needed and appreciated.
It’s also really helped my husband and me to juggle work and family commitments. Having that extra set of hands or wheels has been a huge help. We might even sneak in a long-overdue date next month, though we’re careful not to treat my folks like live-in babysitters.
It’s less rushed, more authentic
Rather than limiting catch-ups to the occasional visit once or twice a year, my parents get to see the everyday moments that make up our kids’ lives.
Most nights, my mom bathes the girls, who are 3 and 7, and helps my older daughter with her homework while my dad watches football with my 10-year-old son. They share in the little triumphs, whether at school or on the sporting field, and help us navigate the challenging times, like the occasional toddler meltdown.
All of these tiny moments add up to build a deeper, more authentic relationship between our kids and their grandparents.
More adults means more attention, love, and support
Our kids have always been close to my folks. I think for them, having two extra people who love them on hand to offer support has been a real benefit.
If my son comes home with friendship troubles, he now has four role models to turn to for advice. I often overhear him asking Mom about all sorts of different topics, and I smile to myself. They share a special bond, and living together is only enhancing their connection.
When our 7-year-old wants to show off her gymnastics tricks, she always has a captive audience in Nana and Pop. Meanwhile, our 3-year-old has my poor dad wrapped around her tiny, little finger. All she has to say is, “More lollies, please, Pop,” and he’s at her service.
There’s a stronger sense of family identity
Mom and Dad are both great storytellers. They’ve had interesting lives, traveled all over the world, met some incredible people, and lived on their own terms.
Storytelling has become part of our daily household life. At the dinner table, they share tales about their childhood, what it was like to grow up in Africa (Mom), how they came through tough times, and nuggets of wisdom they’ve discovered along the way.
These stories are so important, because they’re giving our children a sense of family identity. These are the people who shaped my life, and I’m so glad our kids will grow up knowing them and understanding their roots.
There are so many benefits to multi-generational living, from the financial advantages to the logistical support. But by far my favorite thing about it is the deep connections my kids are forming with their grandparents.
Rather than fleeting visits a few times a year, they’re spending quality time together. I know that in the long run, those memories, like our mornings together on my parents’ veranda, will be golden.
Read the full article here
