The first day my family arrived at our new flat in Spain, I felt a wave of panic. As I was lying down on a bare mattress in our unfurnished apartment, the reality of having just moved to a country none of us had ever visited before finally hit me.
“What have I done?” I wondered. I kept my anxieties to myself, not wanting to worry my husband and two young sons. We were all exhausted, disoriented, and surrounded by luggage containing the items we’d brought from Connecticut.
Needless to say, we had enough on our plates.
So, I closed my eyes and trusted that the feelings passed. Little did I know, moving to an unfamiliar country would usher us into a life-changing adventure.
Spain appealed to me even without on-the-ground experience
My husband and I were on the same page about our desire to leave the US.
We wanted a different childhood for our kids, who were 10 and 6 at the time of the move, and more work-life balance for ourselves. After considering several countries (including Portugal and Italy), Spain won us over.
I felt a personal pull to the country that I still can’t fully explain. Since we didn’t have the time or money to go on scouting trips, we researched cities and towns obsessively before committing to Madrid as our landing pad.
If it didn’t feel right, we figured we could always change course later.
Looking back, choosing Madrid simplified everything. We didn’t second-guess our choice or ponder whether somewhere else might’ve been better. Once we made a decision, we were fully committed.
We relied on research, relocation agencies, and advanced planning before the move
Since we couldn’t visit Madrid, we did a lot of research from our home in Connecticut before the move.
We went down Google rabbit holes, watched YouTube videos about Spain, read books about moving abroad, joined Facebook groups for people relocating overseas, and used social media to follow families that had already made similar moves. We also worked with an immigration lawyer to help us navigate the visa-application process.
One of the best decisions we made was hiring a relocation agency to help us find housing. Selling our house in Connecticut and getting rid of most of our belongings already overwhelmed me, so navigating rentals in a foreign country where we didn’t speak the language would’ve pushed me over the edge.
The relocation agency secured us a flat in Las Rozas de Madrid, a suburb outside the capital city, that was well-situated between our children’s school and my husband’s university. The area also has great public transportation, which was important since we don’t have a car in Spain.
My husband and I used the International Schools Database to choose one for our sons. Once we selected a school, we scheduled calls with directors, took virtual tours, and had our kids meet their principal and teachers over Zoom before we ever left Connecticut.
By the time we got on the plane, Spain didn’t feel completely unknown.
Still, nothing fully prepared us for our arrival
I remember seeing Spain for the first time on the drive into Madrid. It looked so different from Connecticut, and I kept thinking, “This is my home now.”
The van dropped us off at a small real-estate office to meet our landlords and pick up the keys. Our landlords helped us carry our suitcases to the apartment before treating us to lunch.
When we realized we didn’t have basic household items (think: toilet paper, cookware, towels, and a trash can), they drove us to a nearby mall and helped us buy everything we needed, making multiple trips to transport it all back to our flat.
Hours after arriving in a country where we knew no one, strangers had already shown us kindness I’ll never forget.
Although we’re still getting to know Spain, we already feel a sense of belonging
Visiting a place before moving there can, of course, be useful, but it’s not the only path. And in some cases, it can complicate decisions.
If I’d scouted out Spain before relocating, I might’ve second-guessed our choice or struggled to commit to one place. It might’ve opened up too many options, making the decision feel more scary, more real.
We did enough research in the US to make a thoughtful decision. And when the time to board the plane came, we trusted our guts.
Almost a year in, Spain has already started to feel like home. Our neighborhood feels like ours. We know all the bus drivers. Café owners give us a friendly nod.
Although I’m still working on building a community, I never expected to feel so comfortable less than a year after moving.
In some ways, not visiting Spain ahead of time helped my family. We didn’t have a version or concrete idea of Spain to compare our life to. Once we made our decision, we grew into it.
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