When I was in high school, I spent my summers working at the mall, stopping strangers to convince them to take surveys, working a cash register, and waitressing. The work was dull and boring.
Nevertheless, I picked up extra shifts when I could, saving most of my earnings for college and spending some on movie tickets and dinners out with friends at fast-casual chain restaurants that felt like a splurge. I made close friends at work and liked earning my own money. However, I worked out of necessity, not because I wanted to or because it was fun.
When I first became a mother, I assumed that my children would spend their high school summers working, too. Yet now that my daughter is a teenager, I’m conflicted. This summer, she wants to work, but I’m trying to talk her out of it.
My daughter enjoys the independence that comes with earning her own money.
My almost-16-year-old daughter is finishing 10th grade and actively planning her life as an adult. She has an admirable work ethic, is fiercely independent, and is highly motivated to earn her own money.
She babysits whenever she can and picks up odd jobs, like cat-sitting or collecting mail for out-of-town neighbors when asked. Sometimes she says she is saving for a car. Other times, she simply enjoys the freedom to go to Starbucks with friends or buy new clothes without asking Mom and Dad for permission or money first. As long as she finishes her schoolwork and gets enough sleep, I support her hustle and desire to earn her own cash.
A summer job seems like a natural next step. My daughter is actively applying for one. She is excited about the prospect of earning more money, gaining experience, and building her résumé. But I’m not sure I want her to go down that path quite yet.
I want my daughter to have more time to enjoy being a kid.
Now that it’s feasible for my daughter to have an ongoing job with regular hours and greater responsibility, I realize that, at 15, she is still too young to dive headfirst into the working world.
We are fortunate that my daughter doesn’t need to work to have spending money for splurges like the occasional Lululemon top or a sugar-laden Starbucks treat. It’s a privilege not everyone has. However, since we have the choice, now that the moment is here, I realized I would rather she wait to take this next big step toward adulthood.
Once my daughter starts working, it’s unlikely she will ever stop. Like most teenagers, my daughter is anxious to grow up and become independent from her parents. However, I hope that she will have a long life with decades of work ahead of her. Eventually, she won’t have the choice of whether or not to hold a job. She will, soon enough, need to support herself and perhaps, one day, a family.
For now, though, my daughter has options. She has more time, one more summer, to be a kid, to enjoy hours of unstructured time and lazy summer days. She won’t always be able to go for a run on a whim or curl up for hours mid-afternoon with a book or a craft project. These are fleeting days she won’t ever get back once she launches into the world, and I don’t want her to give them up just yet. Moreover, she works very hard during the school year to be the best student she can, and she deserves a break.
Any job my daughter gets would likely be a disappointment.
Even if my daughter does get a job, it’s unlikely she will find one that pays much or offers the type of career-building experience she is after. We are learning that some common jobs for teenagers, such as camp counselors, pay less than the minimum wage. And jobs in the healthcare industry, where she eventually hopes to land, are nearly nonexistent for someone her age.
I do believe that any type of work experience is valuable, from dealing with a boss to getting along with co-workers and customers, and from navigating work-life balance to handling difficult situations. However, I worry that she will ultimately be left disappointed by both her paycheck and her summer workforce experience. If that happens, it will be too late to turn back the clock to give her the idyllic summer I think she would enjoy— and deserves.
I have selfish reasons for wanting her not to work, although I try to let those color my advice
I also, admittedly, have selfish reasons for wanting to keep my daughter’s summer days free, although I am trying very hard not to let that color how I advise her. As my daughter prepares to fly the coop and head to college in just a couple of years, I want to spend as much time as possible with her this summer, traveling and enjoying Mother-Daughter lunch dates. That will be more difficult if she is tied to a rigid work schedule.
Read the full article here
