Aside from some brief visits to neighboring Canada, my mother had never been anywhere outside the United States.
So, for her 60th birthday, I surprised her with a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Italy, somewhere she had always wanted to visit. And I, a seasoned traveler, would be her plus one.
I planned a busy three-week itinerary that would take us from Rome to Naples, down to the “tip of the boot” and around Sicily, where my great-grandparents were born and lived until the early 1900s.
My mom and I are very close, but I was nervous about spending three weeks together on a limited budget. Plus, since this was her first time traveling abroad, I knew she would be attached to my hip.
Turns out, I was right to worry. Still, I’m glad we went.
Adapting to my mom’s limitations with limited funds was challenging
After deplaning with a backpack and roller bag between us, we took the nearest train into Rome. We stayed near the Vatican for a handful of days, exploring places like St. Peter’s Basilica, which left my mom in awe.
I was also thrilled to take her to the low-cost tourist sites I’d visited nearly a decade earlier, like the Pantheon, the Colosseum, and the Trevi Fountain.
All of those places have a rich history, but my mother wasn’t as excited as I was. Instead of bonding over it, most of our conversations revolved around our shared misery over the August weather, which oscillated from hot to exceedingly hot, and the numerous mosquito bites we were getting.
My mom is also a creature of comfort who was already going way outside her element — first with a nine-hour flight over the Atlantic Ocean and then with weeks of mostly budget travel in a foreign country. That’s a lot for somebody who has never been abroad.
On the rare occasions my mom does travel, she typically catches a ride in an air-conditioned vehicle.
Unfortunately, taking taxis everywhere wasn’t in the budget, and when I travel, I typically take public transportation or walk as much as possible. So, that’s what we did on this trip.
She was on board with traveling this way at first, but the combination of the heat and all the walking proved to be too much for her.
For most of our trip, we slept exclusively at budget hotels and Airbnbs, but for two nights, we stayed in the bunks at Hostel Taormina, my mom’s first-ever hostel experience.
Despite the excessive noise and a pair of travelers walking around in their underwear, my mom said she was glad she experienced hostel living, and was grateful to get a glimpse at how I explore the world. It seemed like a turning point for us.
Even though we had endured so much tension throughout the trip, we were still able to create special memories I’ll always remember — including our visit to Chiesa della Madonna della Rocca, a historic chapel carved into a rock.
I saw this church several years ago, but being here again, this time with my mom, and lighting a candle for my late grandma, made it that much more special.
My mom finally felt like she was back in her comfort zone when I picked up an air-conditioned rental car in Catania to explore all over Sicily, an activity we both enjoyed that gave us a break from walking.
We drove through the rolling hills and roamed around Caltanissetta, enjoying arancini dinners in Marsala, where our relatives hailed from over 100 years ago.
The trip amplified our differences, but we’re closer than ever because of it
Despite many challenges, we made it to our last night in Sicily, where I ponied up $100 for a nice holiday home at L’Antico Trappeto, a bed and breakfast that also offers a handful of detached homes for additional privacy.
We spent most of the day at the quiet pool, finally doing a bit more relaxing and sharing belly laughs about our eagerness to be back home and how much we’d been on each other’s nerves.
As a result of the trip, my mom gained a better understanding of how I travel and the accompanying stresses — from choosing every meal to ensuring we got from one destination to the next safely.
In the end, I left with more respect for our differences and an appreciation for every step she took outside her comfort zone.
I’d still love to travel with my mom again, but I think our next trip will be domestic and much shorter.
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