Every few years, I take each of my three kids on a trip for just the two of us. They pick the destination, and I help plan as much (or as little) as they want. What I love most about these trips is how much I learn about who my kids are outside our family dynamics, away from siblings, routines, and the roles they’ve settled into at home.
The trips started years ago
The year my third baby was born, my eldest turned 5 and started kindergarten. With a newborn and a 2-year-old also in the house, I wanted to set aside some time just for her, and my husband and I agreed that a weekend trip to Disneyland during fall break would be ideal. She loved rollercoasters and Minnie Mouse, and it was a short flight away from us.
A couple of years later, my middle child asked if he could take a trip like his sister had (the pictures and the stories endured), while my oldest asked to visit her best friend, who had moved to Seattle. Taking a family of five to Seattle on top of another trip to Disney wasn’t practical, so I ended up planning two separate solo trips, and a tradition was born.
I learn a lot when it’s just two of us traveling together
On a trip to Seattle, with my oldest, I climbed to the top of the Space Needle and rode The Seattle Great Wheel despite a serious fear of heights. At Disneyland, my middle traded a day of roller coasters for character meet-and-greets, and I discovered he always wants a midday rest, a preference that can be hard to accommodate when traveling as a family. On my youngest’s recent first solo trip, we swam in the hotel pool right up until the minute we needed to leave for the airport. He hopped out, changed his swim trunks for shorts in the bathroom, and we made our flight, just barely.
When I travel with one child, they get to make every single decision without the noise of sibling input. It’s fascinating to see what food, activities, and bedtimes they pick when it’s just the two of us. My youngest prefers sticking close to a specific area, especially pools, beaches, and aquatic activities. My middle is a great adventurer. He’s led me to national parks, Chinatown for “real Chinese food,” and historic sites like Alcatraz. And I’ve watched my oldest’s preferences change as she matures into a teen, from Minnie Mouse and kiddie coasters to going to Portland for brunch and to hit up Powell’s bookstore.
On these trips, no one is there to yuck their yum, so they suggest things they’d likely never pitch at home. We can linger as long as they want at whatever captures their attention, change our plans mid-day, and talk about what’s happening in their lives back home with no interruptions.
I’ll travel with my kids for as long as they’ll let me
I’m getting ready for the third adventure with my oldest, and these trips have become my favorite way to get a closer look at who each of my kids actually is right now, rather than who they become through our family shorthand. Maybe the same is true for how they see me.
The best takeaway for me, though, is that trips like this remind me how you can get to know someone better by traveling with them. Even after years of knowing them, even after being their parent all that time. And my hope is that one day, when they are adults and I’m much older, they’ll still invite me to explore new corners of the world with them.
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