This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Peter Millard, a 78-year-old retiree living in Chiang Mai, Thailand, with his wife, Rita. It has been edited for length and clarity.
My wife and I spent more than 20 years moving between countries, trying to find the right place to grow old.
We met while working in the health service in Birmingham, UK, before retiring on health grounds in the late ’90s. Not ready to stop working, I retrained as a podiatrist and ran my own practice for five years, during which we built a small holiday home in southern France.
We visited as often as possible. Over time, we realized how much we loved life in France.
France, then Malta
When I finally retired again in 2003, we moved to Lodève, a small town about 31 miles from Montpellier, settling into the holiday home we had built.
Our house was a 10-minute drive from the town, with terraces on three sides and lovely views of the surrounding hills.
Even in a town of around 7,000 people, we built a close circle of friends, including our French neighbors, who had three children. We soon got involved with the school run, horse-riding lessons, and anything else when their mom was busy and transport was required.
But as we got older, we started to think more practically about what we could manage in the future.
You get to an age where there’s no public transport, there’s a lot of land to look after, and you start to wonder if you’ll be able to cope in 10 years’ time.
We didn’t want to return to the UK, so in 2012, we moved to Malta instead. Life there was more convenient, and we quickly settled into our three-bedroom penthouse located centrally on the island.
After seven years, though, we felt we needed another change. We had outgrown Malta, as it is a very small island, and eventually decided to move back to the UK.
A brief stint back in the UK
Instead of returning to the Midlands where we previously lived, we moved to a retirement complex on the south coast. It was a big mistake. When we arrived, new management had just taken over, and the place became very inflexible, particularly around meal times and seating, and the food was poor.
We lasted under three months before moving out and renting an apartment, where we were much happier.
Although the town was comfortable, the UK no longer felt like home after so many years abroad.
I ended up having a triple heart bypass just as the pandemic was hitting the country. We were trapped in England for nearly three years.
Even so, the idea of living abroad again never quite left our minds.
One Sunday, while reading the papers, Rita came across an article about a retirement resort in Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand.
We had never been to that part of the world. But we both read the piece and said, “How about that?” We have no kids, so it’s just the two of us.
Chiang Mai, at last
We arranged a visit to the Care Resort Chiang Mai, located on the outskirts of the city, to see if it could work for us.
The surroundings were lovely, just like living in a park. We spent a few days at the resort and a few days in the city. By the end of the weeklong trip, we felt confident we had found the right place.
Several months later, in February 2023, we moved to Chiang Mai. This will be our final move.
We’ve done a lot of traveling since we’ve been together for 40-odd years, including on cruises. My wife says she never wants to see another airport.
We were encouraged to make our villa our home, so we have refurnished and even changed the curtains.
As we’re fit and well, we want to carry on as normal, so we do most of the housework and prepare all our meals.
We do make use of some of the facility’s support when needed. Staff help with practical matters, such as visa renewals, and can arrange medical appointments for us.
Once you experience the kindness of the Thai people, you’ll realize that this is a lovely country to spend your remaining years.
In a way, choosing to live in a care community is about planning ahead. The idea was that whoever was left would be looked after by the people here.
It’s a bit like an insurance policy. We don’t need any support now, but in the future, we may.
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