This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Justin Murphy, 35, the co-owner of real estate brokerage Multi Gen Living Group. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
In 2022, my wife, Nicki, and I were living in Babcock Ranch, just outside of Fort Myers, Florida, with our daughters. At the time, my parents lived right down the road from us.
My dad had just entered his 80s and was still pretty capable, but over time, he started needing more help with things like heavy lifting or changing the AC filters. He couldn’t get up on the ladder anymore, so I was over there at least every couple of days.
My wife and I had plans to move to Orlando. We were looking for a little more excitement, culture, and diversity. But the idea of being three hours away from my parents gave me anxiety, so I talked to my wife about them moving in with us.
Every family situation is unique, and not every spouse would be comfortable living with their in-laws. Luckily, my wife and I had a good relationship with my parents, so she was on board. We sat down with them one day and said, “Why don’t we all live under one roof?”
In 2023, we all moved to Orlando. When we decided to live together, it was preemptive; there weren’t any major health issues that required it; it was more about comfort and proximity. But around the time we moved in, my dad’s health really started to decline.
Living with family made my dad’s final months more comfortable
I would almost describe our Orlando home as an asymmetrical duplex. The first floor had an in-law suite with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchenette, living space, private entrance, and washer and dryer. The rest of the first floor had the main living room and kitchen.
Upstairs, there were four bedrooms and two bathrooms for me, my wife, and our two daughters. There was also a loft and our own little living room.
We were never on top of each other, but we were still on the other side of the wall and able to help my parents when they needed it.
Because we lived in the same home, my dad got to see his granddaughters every day and have home-cooked meals, mostly from my wife and me. He was also lucky to have a really good at-home hospice team for the last few months.
His decline happened slowly, which allowed us to be honest with our kids, who were around 8 and 9 at the time, about what was happening. We told them, “Everybody passes away. Papa is almost 84, and he lived a good, long life.”
Being surrounded by family and having in-home care probably gave my dad more time than he might have had if he had been alone or in a nursing home. He still had a reason to live, get up, and try to be happy every day.
After about a year and a half of living together, he passed away. Looking back, I think it was probably the best last year and a half he could have had. He was surrounded by family, and when he took his last breath, we were all there.
My mom still lives with us
Growing up, my parents always jokingly told me, “You better not put me in a nursing home when I’m older.” I promised I wouldn’t.
After my dad passed, my family and I moved from our Orlando home back to Babcock Ranch, along with my mom and our two dogs. We now live in a five-bedroom house that’s about 3,000 square feet.
It’s not as ideal a multigenerational setup, but it works.
Living in the same home is an emotional and logistical choice for us, but it’s also financially beneficial.
By sharing a home, we split the costs of groceries, internet, utilities, property taxes, and homeowners’ insurance. When everything is combined, we save thousands of dollars a year.
Still, I think the biggest benefit is the relationship my kids have with their grandma. In the United States, it’s common for kids to see grandparents only once or twice a year — maybe at Christmas and once over the summer. But my kids get so much more time with their grandma.
They love being with her. They hang out, watch TV, play Uno or other card games, and have dinner together. She’ll still take them out for lunch on the weekends, just for Nana-and-granddaughter time.
More families like mine are choosing to live together
I’ve been in the real-estate industry since 2019. This year, Nicki and I started a brokerage focused on multigenerational homeownership.
It feels like every day, there’s another news story about families choosing to live this way. And working in real estate, I’ve also seen more builders offering multigenerational floor plans.
For a lot of our clients, it really comes down to affordability. Sometimes it’s parents or grandparents helping adult children who are struggling with high rent or trying to save for a down payment. Other times, it’s adult children helping their parents, who may be retiring on a fixed income or didn’t save as much as they hoped.
And sometimes, both sides are just trying to make things work. It’s like, “If we pool our money, we can actually get a decent house, live together, and save.”
For many families, it does make a lot of financial sense to live in the same home. Assisted living can be expensive — sometimes costing several thousand dollars a month — and building a tiny home or an accessory dwelling unit can cost a lot more than people realize upfront, or may not be allowed in some neighborhoods.
For my family, the multi-generational setup was just the perfect situation, financially, emotionally, and logistically — it really worked out.
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