My 21-year-old son recently accompanied me to the grocery store. Our list wasn’t lengthy. We needed a few items for a cookout with neighbors: hot dogs, brats, buns, some fresh produce, and chicken.
On these shared trips, the two of us have taken to playing a “Price is Right”-inspired guessing game. Who can correctly estimate the final total without going over? He’s uncannily good at this game, beating me nearly every time, often guessing within a dollar.
“I think $80.78,” he whispered as the Aldi checker stacked our items in the basket. “And I’ll say $77.35,” I responded.
“$92.17,” our checker stated. He won our game, but the victory was bittersweet because of the cost.
“I’m never going to be able to move out,” my son lamented, a hint of a joke in his voice as we packed up our groceries. But we both knew there was some seriousness to his plea.
My two adult sons moved back in to save money on housing
My 21-year-old just moved back into his childhood bedroom in May after being out on his own. He’d been subleasing a shared apartment and managing his other social expenses, but ultimately decided he didn’t want to pay rent. While my husband and I prioritize tuition for our two young adult sons, we don’t have the disposable income to cover all their living expenses. Unwilling to accrue debt just to live near campus, he chose to come home.
He isn’t the only one under our roof making that calculation. His older brother opted to attend a nearby college specifically to save on housing, so now we have both sons living at home for the foreseeable future.
We live in St. Paul, Minnesota, across the river from Minneapolis, where housing prices are considered “affordable” when compared to other major cities. According to Apartments.com, the average studio costs $1,424 a month.
My sons aren’t failing to launch
They’re part of a growing nationwide trend. We have friends whose college graduates moved back home to hunt for jobs, and other friends whose daughter and her husband live in their basement as they save for a down payment on their first house.
For my sons, a part-time student job just didn’t provide enough income to justify exorbitant rent costs.
My husband and I decided that as long as our sons are full-time students, they can continue to live at home with few expenses. They both chip in to put gas in the family cars, but we foot the bill for the rest of the household expenses.
But my expenses have increased as a result
While I’m proud my sons are savvy with their hard-earned money, having them both back home for a season means our expenses have increased. My husband and I are realizing the financial freedom associated with an empty nest won’t be our reality for a while.
Four adults living at home means increased utility bills. The lights are on more. More water is needed for showers, laundry, and the dishwasher. We had an earlier-than-expected heatwave here in Minnesota, so the air conditioner has been running more often.
Our grocery bills are higher, too, and not just because of war, tariffs, and inflation. When my son lived on his own, he often ate a small breakfast, skipped lunch, and planned cheap dinners like eggs and toast. That’s changed now that we’re buying groceries. Long gone are the days of satisfying the family of four with a couple of boxes of macaroni and cheese or grilled cheese sandwiches.
On that recent trip to Aldi, we spent nearly $20 on chicken that would last a couple of dinners. While that’s considerably less than what we would spend going out, it’s also way more than I would be spending on dinners of cereal and popcorn if our sons weren’t home. I primarily shop at Aldi because of their lower prices, but even those prices add up for twenty-somethings focused on weightlifting, clean eating, and prioritizing protein.
I’m not sure what the future holds for our family
Will our young adult sons continue to live here after graduation, packing a lunch before heading out to their jobs — if they can find those jobs? What kinds of parameters will my husband and I establish if that time comes?
I don’t know, so for now I will try to relax into this season as much as I can, enjoying the shared meals and chaotic mornings as everyone heads out to summer jobs.
If you need me, I’ll be over here researching economical protein sources and water-saving showerheads.
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