This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sofia Franklyn, author of the upcoming memoir “Daddy Issues.” It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I co-founded the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I could make money doing something I loved.
I had majored in economics — a subject I hated — because it seemed like the smarter way to secure a job than studying English or the arts, which I was more interested in. After college, I started working for Morgan Stanley in Utah, where I grew up. I moved to New York City with my Utah salary, which was about $38,000 annually. I was broke.
I was still working that job — making about $52,000 a year — when I co-founded the podcast in 2018. Right away, my day-to-day financial stress evaporated. I was able to put money into a savings account for the first time. I was more social because I didn’t need to choose between buying drinks and paying for dinner. It was freeing, and I felt financially very comfortable and safe.
I lost my identity and didn’t trust myself after leaving the podcast
That safety disappeared seemingly overnight. In 2020, I had a very public fallout with my cofounder, Alex, and left the show after contract negotiations fell apart.
I had a job that had become my identity, and I was very proud of that. Within days, my job, my identity, and my income were completely gone. My relationship with Alex was too.
This was a massive change in my life. I found myself trying to reconcile what had happened while also viewing it through a very public narrative. That was tricky. I became very untrusting. I didn’t even trust myself. Everything I thought was real had disappeared, and I felt numb.
During that time, I leaned on my family. My mom was a real estate agent, and my dad owned a construction business, so during the 2008 financial crisis, we went from being financially OK to a tough spot. I knew I could be scrappy. I also knew that they understood who I was, outside the public discussion.
I had to negotiate a new career while feeling worthless
I used to be the kind of person who carefully considered every decision, weighing the pros and cons and making risk assessments. After leaving the podcast, I had to go with my gut. I knew time was of the essence, so I had to push forward without fully knowing what I was doing.
It was an interesting experience negotiating my worth at a time when I felt worthless. Even though I lost a huge part of my identity, I had a strong sense of self that my mom instilled. That helped me as I formed my own podcast, “Sofia with an F,” later that year.
At the time, I said very little about the fallout from “Call Her Daddy.” Early on, I understood that this was too massive — within my life and the public discussion — to respond to quickly.
I’ve learned it’s important to talk about money
Since then, I’ve been very careful to make sure my identity isn’t fully wrapped up in my job. My identity is built around my morals, my values, and how I treat people. Every so often, I ask myself, “If all of this is gone tomorrow, how are you going to feel?” That impacts my decisions.
I’m still an open book. After so much was said about me, I realized I didn’t have much to lose by staying in the public eye. The only thing I’m private about is my romantic relationship.
I once joked that I would ask to see guys’ bank accounts on the first date. It was said in jest, but there was some truth to it. I didn’t ask to see my now-fiancée’s account when we met — though that would have been funny. However, we have been open about money from the start, and I’ll say I’m a firm believer in prenups.
I’ve seen how money discussions can go wrong, and I know it’s very important to have an open dialogue about money.
Read the full article here
