Does your heart race and breath quicken when your phone spontaneously buzzes with the sound of a call?
You may be experiencing “callergy” — a fear of phone calls that’s become increasingly prevalent among young people in the workforce. According to a recent survey by the self-improvement app RiseGuide, 1 in 10 Gen Zers and millennials consider a spontaneous call more stressful than a breakup or a job interview.
I’m a zillennial, so I’m not spared from phone anxiety, even though I basically talk to people as a job. I once got a spontaneous call from someone I had sent an email to, and I panicked so much that I forgot my own name when I picked up.
To my dread, friends tasked me with calling a popular local Haitian restaurant to make a reservation for this weekend. After putting off that undesired task all morning, I decided to turn to the internet for help.
Many apps that can help with phone anxiety are designed for meditation and managing work-related stress, while others suggest more actionable methods. I spent the afternoon trying three popular apps for people who fear calls — and only one helped me hit the digits.
Calm
Calm feels like a traditional meditation guide app. Most of its audio experiences remain behind a paywall, but there are a small handful of free ones.
For the task at hand, I chose the “For Work” mode and opted for a six-minute “reducing work anxiety” routine.
The audio began with the sound of water and a voice asking me to get into a comfortable position, so I lay down on my carpet as instructed and closed my eyes.
The session then moved on to a yoga-like meditation breathing exercise, and to “bringing attention to the body.” By the end of the audio, I managed to relax my shoulders and arms and let go of my somewhat clenched jaw from thinking and focusing.
It was all pretty relaxing, but it left me sleepy rather than prompting action. I moved on without calling the restaurant.
MindShift CBT
If you have ever filled out elaborate, pastel-colored flow charts in your high school health class, that is what MindShift CBT feels like.
To address the conundrum at hand, I opened the app, clicked into the tools for social anxiety, and opted for one that helps overcome fears.
MindShift gave me an example of what someone who is afraid of dogs should do and gave me a five-step plan: start with a lower anxiety activity and work my way up. For example, someone who is afraid of dogs can look at dogs playing in a park before approaching a real dog.
I filled out the ladder chart and began to work my way up. I completed the steps of writing down my opening for the conversation and watched a job interview clip to remind myself that there are harder things than making a call to a restaurant.
My friend, however, who feels as anxious about unplanned calls as I, did not pick up. Less than 30 seconds later, she texted me, “Is everything okay?” and said she felt worried when she saw me calling.
I didn’t end up calling the restaurant, but my friend and I did get into a long text conversation about how much we don’t like unplanned phone calls.
KallyConfidence
As an AI skeptic, I saved this tool for last.
KallyConfidence, made by the productivity tool company KallyAI, immediately laid out a clear, five-minute path for me to get started, giving someone who struggles with uncertainty a sense of assurance. It began with a quick breathing exercise, three chances to practice calls with the AI, with the option to journal about the experience.
I started by trying to have a conversation about the weather, but the AI failed to respond. I moved on to a coffee-ordering scenario, and the AI successfully acted as a barista, asking me what size latte I needed, whether I needed sweeteners, and letting me know I could pick it up in a few minutes.
The process was much slower than a real conversation, and the AI was glitchy. Still, talking to an AI agent that responded like a human finally kick-started my brain. The fact that I was beginning to feel hungry by thinking about the ox tail stew I had at that restaurant a few months ago helped motivate me.
With a combination of preparation and the right cravings, I finally managed to call the restaurant, this time without forgetting my own name.
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