My wife, Cece, moved from Texas to Australia 12 years ago, but we still head back to the US every Christmas.
While we’re home, the two of us take a trip with her mother, Liz. Liz’s partner, Pete, doesn’t like to travel, so this annual December trip is her primary holiday.
In the past, we’ve headed to Nashville, Seattle, and Washington DC. At the end of last year, we spent four days in Charleston and had a wonderful trip.
We picked activities at Liz’s pace and took turns choosing experiences
Over the years, we’ve learned that Liz enjoys a trip more when she can help shape it rather than just show up for it. So before heading to Charleston, I had a visitor’s brochure mailed to her in Texas.
The day it arrived, she called with a list of things she had already researched and wanted to try, including a Gullah Geechee tour to learn about the history and culture of the descendants of enslaved Africans who settled along the Carolina coast.
Bus and walking tours were available, and we chose the bus even though I would’ve preferred the latter.
It was important for us to consider what would be most sustainable for my 75-year-old mother-in-law when booking activities. Riding the bus meant Liz could arrive at lunch with energy instead of blisters.
Throughout the trip, we also took turns selecting activities so no one felt left out. My choice was a cocktail-making class, which is also indoors and offers plenty of seating.
Liz drinks a little but would never have thought to book a class like this herself, which is another perk of taking turns: You get to try things you never thought you would.
The class ended up being just the three of us at a bar with a 25-year-old instructor. We learned how the Old Fashioned got its name, what makes a good bartender, and that Liz pours generously. Her first attempt overflowed.
By the third round, Liz was jiggling the shaker like a professional and informing us she was keeping up with “the young kids.”
The instructor even invited her behind the bar. She posed for the camera, and we sent the video straight to Pete. He replied: “Oh boy. She’s really loving this.”
Liz also chose for us to visit the Charleston City Market, a stretch of local vendors and artists that has been running for centuries.
We’d planned to stop for an hour and stayed for over two as Liz watched sweetgrass baskets being woven, bought Christmas ornaments, and talked to every artisan who’d stand still long enough.
I walked ahead and checked my watch several times, but tried to stay patient. Liz had taken a whole cocktail-making class she’d never have picked herself, so two hours at the market felt fair.
Each of us got to choose a meal, too
Over our four days, we each picked a meal to share. Liz chose Lewis BBQ, partly because it’s run by a fellow Texan, which she felt was a good sign.
She takes barbecue seriously, and the brisket was the real test. Her wide post-bite smile told me the barbecue had passed.
I took us to Southern restaurant Poogan’s Porch one night so we could order shrimp and grits, something I’d never tried.
Cece chose to get breakfast on our last morning at Callie’s Hot Little Biscuits. We ordered a range of sweet and savory bites, and Cece and I managed to take down one biscuit each.
Liz had two and a half and immediately bought a box to take home.
In the end, a few things made the trip work
Encouraging my mother-in-law to plan from Texas meant she arrived at our destination already invested with ideas we’d never have found on our own.
Picking activities at a pace that suited everyone, like the Gullah Geechee bus tour and the cocktail-making class, meant no one was worn out by dinner — and taking turns meant nobody got dragged through someone else’s idea of fun for too long.
At the end of the trip, Liz flew home to San Antonio with biscuits, cocktail recipes, and Christmas ornaments. Her partner said she looked like she was having the time of her life in the photos and videos we sent, though the cocktails are still a work in progress.
We’ve already begun planning this December’s trip, so I should probably send a new brochure to Liz soon.
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