I was 21 years old when I took my first solo trip. I had just graduated from college, and it was the first time I had ever done something completely alone.
Sure, I went to college away from home and considered myself to be a pretty independent person. But it’s not until you are stuck in an airport and can’t get a cab because you don’t have money in the local currency and the ATM won’t recognize your transaction to withdraw cash that you realize you’ve never truly been on your own.
I was completely hooked.
I met my girlfriend when I turned 22, and we’ve been in a serious relationship for the last eight years. Even now, I try to find every opportunity to travel alone.
I recently returned from my latest solo adventure through Prague, France, and Sweden. Throughout the European trip, I had so many special moments that I felt grateful to be on my own.
When I travel, the discomfort makes me feel alive
Most of my daily activities are repetitive. I work a full day remotely behind a computer screen, take a shower, and go to the grocery store, all while barely remembering any of it.
I have fallen in love with travel because everything is brand new. I have to stay alert to know where I’m going, to keep myself safe, to figure out what to eat and where to sleep.
I can feel my neurons working overtime, trying their best to form connections and help me make some sense of my completely foreign surroundings.
I have done many trips alone and many trips with my partner. I find that when I bring my partner along, there is a familiarity that is comforting but is also stifling. It prevents me from being truly on the edge of my seat, not knowing what’s going to happen next and who I might meet.
For example, while in Paris, I was staying at a hostel where I met a friend in a neighboring bunk. We walked down the river Seine, shared a few glasses of Champagne, and ended our night having a fabulous dinner with live music. If I had traveled with my girlfriend, none of that would have happened. I would have been in a private room, and we would have already had set plans for the night, making it much harder to meet new people and go with the flow.
Not having someone to connect with when you solo travel can be hard
Of course, traveling alone isn’t always easy. While in Europe, there were moments when I wished my partner were with me because one of the best parts of traveling with anyone is sharing experiences, making memories, and having someone to turn to and say, “Look at that,” when you see something jaw-dropping.
But I still would give up that connection with my partner to travel solo.
Standing in line for the clock tower in Prague Old Town, I realized I didn’t want to spend two hours waiting for a view, so I simply turned on my heels and walked away. No discussion, compromise, or plan about what we would do instead. There was no complaint about the wasted value of the ticket. I just didn’t feel like doing it, so I didn’t. To me, that’s priceless.
Sure, it could get lonely. In Europe, I would go days without truly speaking to anyone, my nose buried in my Kindle and scribing my memories into my journal as my only companion. I made sure to break up my alone time with guided tours and Airbnb experiences that introduced me to locals and other solo travelers.
Those points of connection made a huge difference for me, ensuring that while I chose to travel alone, I never feel lonely.
In the end, traveling alone is better for my relationship
Even in the moments when I wished I could give my partner a cuddle after walking 20,000 steps around the second arrondissement, I am so glad I traveled around Europe by myself.
Being in an eight-year relationship, that kind of freedom can feel rare. When you live with someone and share a life with them, having total autonomy is a fleeting moment and one that I plan to grab onto any chance I can get.
When I got home from my trip, I had the opportunity to truly miss my partner. I had new stories for the dinner table and a refreshed sense of independence that helps me to show up as a better partner in the relationship.
I will always prioritize opportunities to travel alone for extended periods of time to maintain an often fleeting sense of independence.
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