This story is based on an interview with Chris Rojas, 41, of Tucson, Arizona, where he works in food distribution. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Some of my friends growing up were into recreational drugs and drinking, but I was big into sports and stayed away from all that.
Then, at 18, I got my first job in the restaurant industry. My colleagues and I would work hard all evening and then party when we were done.
We’d hit the bar scene around 10 pm or go to someone’s house. I drank heavy beers, whisky, tequila, gin, vodka, and anything else I could get my hands on.
I used alcohol to soothe myself
Then I got hit by a drunken driver. I was left with a lot of soft tissue damage, and I couldn’t stand up for more than 30 minutes for about a year.
There was a lot of pain involved, and I used alcohol to soothe myself. I got married and divorced within two-and-a-half years, which didn’t help.
Still, I met my second wife, and we got married in 2013. It wasn’t long before our first child arrived. We went on to have three more.
I didn’t go out so much because I had kids, but I would drink whisky and beer in my home office after helping them with their homework and eating dinner.
I was a bit of a workaholic with several side projects that I was passionate about. I’d stay up late working and drinking every night or every other night.
Alcohol dominated my thoughts. I’d drive to the supermarket to buy 12-packs of beer as soon as my supply got low in the fridge.
Stress got to me
The hangovers were awful, and I felt slow and sluggish. I was constantly tired from lack of sleep and wasn’t as connected to my little ones.
In 2022, I tried to reduce my drinking and was successful for about 18 months. Then I was demoted twice over the course of six months and earned 45% less than my previous salary.
The stress got to me, and I suffered from my prior injury to my back. My solution was drinking again.
Then, on November 15, 2024, I woke up with yet another hangover after a binge. I finally realized I couldn’t keep punishing my body.
I was giving up my energy and attention to my kids to a substance that was parasitic. I downloaded an app that offered advice on both reducing and eliminating alcohol consumption.
It was a life-changer, and I haven’t touched a drop since then. I read about the neurological and physiological effects of long-term abuse and what it was doing to my relationships.
I feel so much closer to my children
I created a routine of waking up, lifting weights at home, and committing to not drinking.
Unfortunately, my second marriage ended. It was traumatic, but it would have been 10 times worse if I’d been drinking.
Best of all, I feel so much closer to my children. I spend a whole lot more time with them and am fully present.
They’re young, but I’ve talked to my kids about my past through a filter. My 11-year-old recently told me that she was proud of me. It felt like the ultimate praise.
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