I was born and raised in Canada, but I’ve always dreamed of moving abroad.
When I closed my eyes and imagined my life in another country, I typically pictured myself settling somewhere like Paris or Mexico City, two places I’d fallen in love with during travels in my early 20s.
However, those well-laid plans changed when I fell in love with a Turkish man on a trip to Istanbul in early 2023.
Falling in love with him felt like a fairytale — the relationship felt equal parts safe and exciting. We dated long-distance for nearly two years, with me going back and forth between Canada and Istanbul for as long as my tourist visa would allow.
In December 2024, I made the leap, packed up my possessions, and moved to Turkey on a digital nomad visa.
Finally, I had the chance to live abroad — even better, I’d have a local to hold my hand and guide me through their country.
I tried diving into the local culture, but my relationship didn’t last
When I arrived in Istanbul, I tried to dive into the culture immediately, taking full-time Turkish lessons and learning how to cook some basic local dishes.
But just two months after my move, our relationship started to break down. Though I was trying my best to learn more Turkish, he had to primarily communicate with me in English, which put a strain on our relationship.
As it turns out, growing a relationship across language barriers is difficult. Ultimately, he decided to end our relationship.
At first, I was crushed beyond comprehension. He wasn’t just my boyfriend — he was my only friend and my sole support system in Istanbul. I had moved continents to be with him, thinking, somewhat naively, we’d be together forever.
Now, I was alone in a foreign country and unsure of what was next.
I dropped out of Turkish lessons, telling myself there was no point in learning the language if I didn’t have future in-laws to communicate with.
For the next week, I listened to more Taylor Swift than I’d like to admit, and broke down crying on my kitchen floor on a nightly basis.
I looked through apartment listings back in Canada and wondered if I should apply for a residence permit in Paris. At one point, I almost accepted my parents’ offer to pay for me to fly back home.
After many hours of therapy and journaling, I realized I needed to get myself out of this slump. Since I was already here, I figured I ought to give Istanbul a real try.
Things changed when I started to push myself out of my comfort zone
Without my ex-boyfriend’s ecosystem to rely on, I had to cultivate my own. So, I dove headfirst into building a community.
I joined a group fitness class for expats where I got in the best shape of my life and made incredible friends from all over the world. I also went back to my Turkish lessons and started studying the language for the pure pleasure of learning something new.
Now, I can connect with my community more, impressing my neighborhood vegetable seller and local barista as I communicate with them more fluently every week.
Slowly but surely, I realized Istanbul had somehow become my home.
I couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to the early morning call to prayer recited by the muezzin at the mosque next to my apartment, the hundreds of cats I pass in the street daily, or the slowed-down Mediterranean pace of life.
I started feeling more at home in Istanbul than I ever did in Canada. Suddenly, it wasn’t just the place I ran to for a guy, but the one city that had stolen my heart.
As a travel writer with more than 50 countries under my belt, that said a lot.
Ultimately, I’m glad love pushed me to move abroad — even if the relationship didn’t work out
It took surviving heartbreak abroad for me to find the space to grow into who I’ve always wanted to be and to truly start trusting myself.
And honestly? I don’t know if my former self would have been brave enough to do it without the initial push from my ex.
Sure, I sometimes wish things with my ex could’ve been different. But I’m now at the point where I feel genuine gratitude toward him for encouraging me to shake up my predictable life in Canada and for welcoming me into his country, if only briefly.
I’ve finally realized my dream of living abroad and, even better, I’m proving to myself every day that I’m more than capable of navigating life (in a foreign country or otherwise) on my own.
I’ve already been living in the city for nearly a year, and I don’t see myself settling anywhere else for a long time.
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