This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Roberta Maretti, 50, author of “Where the World Took Me.” Her words have been edited for length and clarity.
I was born in Italy, and moved around a lot when I was growing up. By the time I finished high school, I’d lived in several countries across Europe and Asia.
After that, I moved again on my own, this time to study hotel management in Switzerland.
Growing up abroad made me inherently multicultural. I absorbed new foods, languages, traditions — and learned early that identity isn’t tied to one place.
After working at the Manchester Airport Hilton in the UK, I transferred internally to Chicago, then San Juan, Puerto Rico, and later to Shanghai.
It was in Manchester that I met my now ex-husband, who is German, and together we built a life that spanned countries. After finding out I was pregnant, I decided to step away from the hotel industry to focus on raising our children.
Our daughter was born in Shanghai in 2005, and just a few months later, we moved to Sanya, a small island city in China. By the time she turned 3, we had relocated to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. My son came next, and he was only 1 when we relocated to Beijing and then Singapore.
Children adapt fast
Even with constant moves, my children made friends, attended school, and learned to adapt almost effortlessly.
The hardest part was always the goodbyes — leaving friends, routines, and the familiar behind. Yet each move strengthened their resilience, curiosity, and open-mindedness.
Food became our anchor. Shared meals — a curry with roti prata in Little India, dumplings sizzling on Shanghai streets, or a simple bowl of congee in Kuala Lumpur — transported us instantly to the heart of each city, making each place feel like home.
Building a sense of belonging took effort, and expat communities were essential. Other expat mothers became my lifeline, supporting one another through playdates, outings, and the ups and downs of life abroad. Together, we made unfamiliar places feel like home.
In Singapore and Malaysia, where English is widely spoken, our circles often included locals, while in China, expat networks became central. Still, small gestures from locals left a lasting mark — like Mr Wong, our school bus driver in Beijing, who won over my young son. I remember him spreading his arms wide as my son toddled toward him to be picked up.
Moments like these showed me that kindness transcends language, and that home isn’t just a place on a map.
Living abroad came with challenges
China, especially, pushed me to my limits. Our children’s blonde curls and bright eyes made them instant curiosities — strangers would stop us on the street, reach out to touch them, even lift them from their strollers. I remember feeling overwhelmed by the constant invasion of our privacy.
I understood the cultural curiosity and didn’t blame anyone, but emotionally, it was challenging. Those years in China tested my personal boundaries and heightened my sense of maternal protectiveness.
Returning to Europe forced me to redefine home
Following my divorce, staying in Singapore was no longer an option. With the rest of my family based in Belgium, moving to Brussels was the most stable choice for my children and me.
In 2013, after nearly a decade in Asia, coming “home” was disorienting — the food, pace, and climate we’d grown used to were gone. We faced new schools, four distinct seasons, and the challenge of re-establishing myself as a single mother and her children. Yet, over time, we found our rhythm.
All of these experiences have shaped me as a woman, a mother, and an expat.
In 2014, back in Brussels, I opened a gelateria, Il Monello, with my brother. Running a small business has been both grounding and rewarding, allowing me to connect with people in a new way.
Now that my daughter is turning 21 and my son is 18, I crave space, light, and a slower rhythm. One thing is certain: I will never stop travelling, it’s part of who I am.
Do you have a story to share about living abroad? Contact the editor at akarplus@businessinsider.com.
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