By the time my son was almost 1, I had a small amount of savings and a part-time job, but I wasn’t exactly flush with cash. Still, I was slowly emerging from the financial survival mode I had been in for most of my 20s, focusing solely on caring for my first baby.
Finances began to dominate my concerns as I became serious about building a stable future for us. I didn’t want to be so worried about money forever. But first, I wanted to fantasize — just for a moment — about what I’d do with my life if money were a non-issue.
Just for a moment, I wanted to pretend I didn’t have to worry about money
I sat down at the kitchen table while my son took his afternoon nap. He was about 10 months old then. With a cup of coffee, I allowed myself to dream. I wrote “Wishlist” at the top of a blank spiral notebook sheet, and then started listing bullet items. It took less than five minutes.
When I was done, I started examining each item on its own: Go to Paris, Buy my own house, Finish my degree, Become a teacher, Get us whatever we need without worrying, Get a dog, Start a business. When they’d been stirring around in my mind all together, these things seemed outlandish. Own my own home as a single person? It didn’t seem possible — until I saw it written down on that paper, and started truly thinking about what it would take to make it happen.
Broken down individually, these things suddenly looked much more attainable. Yes, it’d still take a lot of time and effort to achieve, and I may not get them all — or all at the same time — but it wasn’t impossible for me to build the life I wanted for myself and my son. For example, finishing my degree wasn’t really that crazy when I started thinking about it. By applying for financial aid or loans and saving up for tuition, I knew it wouldn’t be impossible to complete just two years of college to finish my Bachelor’s degree.
My wishlist started looking more like a blueprint for our future
I saw that college was really one of the first steps to getting the rest of the things that I had written down. With a degree, I knew I could earn more money. With the possibility of a dependable income in mind, I could now visualize us in our own house — with that dog! I foresaw less worry about expenses, like clothes, groceries, and even extras, such as more travel and eating out.
My son is 12 now. Since I wrote that list over a decade ago, I have started a couple of businesses while finishing my degree. And yes, I even bought my own house, and we got a dog. It was by no means easy or fast. After I sat down at my kitchen table, it took a total of five years — and very little rest — to achieve all of that.
We haven’t yet made it to Paris, but I was so proud to take us on a “real” vacation — with airplanes, rental cars, and hotels — to Vermont one summer. While I was able to work for some of the things that I once thought were far-fetched, the financial concern never went away. I still worry about paying for things we need sometimes, but I also try to alleviate the anxiety by reassuring myself that I always figure it out.
Without realizing it, I was designing our future that day
After I finished my degree, I taught English for six years. I now know that what I did that day with my wishlist was backward planning, a strategy in which you start with the final goal or assessment and work backward to determine the steps needed to get there. All of my bullet list items were final goals. Once the goals were clear, it was easier to determine the steps to get there.
Or maybe when I allowed myself to dream that day and wrote down my desires on that piece of paper, part of me was manifesting my future. By taking that small step, I could see that the things I wanted weren’t really that out of reach — with the right amount of foresight and planning, of course. For the next several years, that list was basically my vision board.
Money makes things easier sometimes, but I no longer view it as a barrier
I thought money stood in the way of everything I dreamed of, but it didn’t. Once I saw that there was a way to get to where I wanted to go, with the right plan, the world opened up a little more for me. My wishlist was powerful, because I saw that with enough drive, nothing should really stop me from going after my dreams.
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