I live in Boston and New York City. Supercommuting is hard, but I’m unwilling to sacrifice my personal or professional life.

I went to school in Boston and stayed there for a couple of years. Then, last spring, I got a career-making job opportunity in New York.

I’ve always wanted to live in New York. If you’re a designer or an artist, it’s like a mecca for super creative, talented people.

I was like, “OK, this could be a really good excuse to have that New York moment in my life, in my career.”

But my entire family lives in Massachusetts. My boyfriend lives in Boston, and his whole family lives in the surrounding area. All of my friends were there. Most of my personal life is in Boston.

My boyfriend’s job is also based in Boston, so he said, “I need to stay here, but this is a great opportunity. We need to figure out how to make this work.”

It was just never an option to say no to the job, and it wasn’t feasibly an option for us both to move to New York.

I technically relocated to NYC in April 2023, but I travel back and forth between the two lives almost every week.

I go to Boston almost weekly

My company’s policy is to be in the office on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, which is nice because everyone gets to be in person and collaborate. On Mondays and Fridays, pretty much everyone is remote.

I’m typically in the office three days every single week. Right now, my boyfriend and I try to do two weekends in Boston, one weekend a month my boyfriend will come to New York, and then we do one weekend apart. My life situation is a little bit of a supercommuting lifestyle and then also balancing a long-distance relationship.

I only ever take an Amtrak train. There’s the regional train, which is about four to five hours or more depending on delays, and then the Acela, a high-speed train. That’s three and a half to four hours, which is a lot better, but it’s more expensive.

I try to book all my travel at least three months in advance because that’s how far out I can plan my social life.

I’ve been able to find a ticket one way for about $30, which saves me a ton of money. I’ll try to book it out as far as I can, and then if plans change, I just pay the difference later on. It adds up doing that, but it’s cheaper than buying a ticket for, say, this coming weekend, which would probably be $400 one way and is just not reasonable.

In Boston, we live within walking distance of the train station, so I’ll walk there myself, or sometimes my boyfriend will drive me. I work or watch Netflix, read my books, or sleep on the train. Then I get off in New York and take two subways.

It’s usually about a 20-minute subway ride, and then my apartment is within two blocks from a subway station. And I do it in reverse when it’s time to go to Boston.

I have two apartments

I moved in with two roommates in New York. A room opened up right as my job offer came in and I couldn’t say no. We split our rent three ways equally. I pay around $1,500.

I joined in with my boyfriend’s lease in his Boston apartment in September of 2023. I pay a scaled portion of our rent. We tried it out a couple of different ways, and the method we have now seems to be the most affordable and realistic for both of our finances.

I keep about 60% of my clothes in New York because I go to the office. I have more occasion clothes in Boston because that’s where I go to family events.

From the start, I knew I would need to get doubles of some stuff. I have electronics like charging cords, bathroom and shower supplies, and anything I use daily in both places.

I don’t travel with a roller bag

I use a backpack instead of a suitcase. I’ve gotten a lot of backlash from people who don’t understand why I use a backpack over a roller bag.

Anyone who goes in and out of subway stations knows there are a lot of steps, escalators, and train cars to get on and off of. It’s just easier to get around, and I don’t like sounding like a tourist or a target walking around.

I also use packing cubes. I don’t think they actually help me fit more in my bags, but they keep them organized.

They’re also just cute. They’re one of the ways I stay positive about packing instead of just throwing everything in a bag.

My lifestyle is as fun as it is tiring

I get the best of both worlds with two amazing cities. New York is so fun, high-energy, and inspiring, and I’ve met so many people here that I would not have met otherwise. We’re going to be friends long after I’m done commuting. And a lot of creative career opportunities come with it.

I’ve lived in Boston for almost 10 years, so it has a special place in my heart. I love the energy there as well. It’s not as chaotic and not as creative, but it’s very peaceful, and it’s where I’ll end up again someday. The best part of this is getting to make memories in both.

It’s a lot of fun, and it’s also really hard. A lot of days those two feelings I have about it kind of cancel each other out at some point during the day.

I’ll be on top of the world living an artist’s dream in New York City and then utterly exhausted because I got off a 5 a.m. train, or I have a 5 a.m. train the next day, or I have to say no to plans with friends because I’ll be on a train, or I won’t be here.

There is always a voice in the back of my head saying, “I wish I could be there for everything in both places.” I try, but unfortunately, it leads to no time for myself. I’m working on making sure that I’m not split between so many obligations that I forego my own mental sanity.

I already know I will look back on these years with a lot of fondness, but it’s very tiring. There’s no end in sight, but it’s also not forever. So, I kind of just have to do it.

A supportive relationship makes all the difference

My boyfriend and I are both super career-oriented, and it’s a nonnegotiable for both of us to prioritize being independent and making sure that we’re getting everything out of our own lives before making compromises.

He was with me when I got the job offer, and he was the first one to say, “OK, you’ve got to say yes. When does it start? How are we going to do this?”

He’s been my biggest supporter throughout the entire thing, and obviously a relationship is a two-way street. We support each other in that way, but he’s always the one encouraging me to have a very positive outlook on everything.

Even when I dread going to one city or the other, he’s always the one to say, “As soon as you get there, it’ll be OK. It’ll be happy again. You’ll realize you have this coming up, or you’ll see this person, and it’ll all be OK.”