Most summers, I try to pack in as much travel as possible with my kids. My children have dual citizenship, and it’s important to me that they spend time in Europe and connect with their roots. I enjoy showing them the rest of the world, too.
In past years, my kids have had fun traveling from Rome to Warsaw or Seoul to Tokyo. This summer, I planned on staying in Europe for nearly a month, making the most of our time by staying until the day before school started. I booked hotels and flights and excitedly told my kids the plan.
But this year went a bit differently than expected. I allowed my teenage daughter to travel home alone.
My daughter wasn’t happy when she heard about my extended travel plans
When my 11-year-old son learned we would be spending nearly a month in Europe, he was overjoyed. My 15-year-old daughter, however, was despondent. She wanted to spend time with her friends. Plus, she worried about meeting her school obligations, which include a leadership position in a school club and cross-country and track training. She begged me to cut the trip short.
However, I wasn’t willing to end my trip early. I had hard-to-get tickets to a Real Madrid soccer match for the last day of the trip. My son and I are both huge soccer fans, and I didn’t want to miss the game.
Desperate, my daughter started listing the meetings and practices she would miss if we stayed in Europe until just before school began.
My daughter asked if she could fly home alone
Unwilling to accept no for an answer, my daughter sprang into action. She didn’t whine and complain. Instead, she researched whether she could fly home alone and presented me with the facts.
She showed me that I could change her flight, booked with points, at no extra cost. She presented airline policies indicating that she was old enough to fly alone without paying an unaccompanied minor fee, and that there were no restrictions on American minors flying alone from Spain to the US. She also found a direct flight from Madrid to Washington, DC, which greatly reduced the chances of something going wrong.
My daughter made a convincing case, and I reluctantly agreed. I tried to think of everything that could go wrong. I signed a letter giving her permission to travel solo and had it notarized. I made sure she had a phone, credit card, and cash in case she needed it.
Nevertheless, I was still reluctant and didn’t fully commit to the plan until the night before her flight.
I told my daughter that I wanted her to stay, but if she left early, she was responsible for packing, getting up on time, and making sure she had everything she needed.
Even with preparation, things didn’t go entirely smoothly
Although I wasn’t fully behind my daughter’s plans to leave our family vacation early, I told her I would accompany her to the airport in case she ran into any problems or changed her mind.
Despite all of my planning, things didn’t go entirely smoothly. I had suggested leaving our hotel well before flight departure time in case she ran into any issues leaving the country as a solo 15-year-old traveler. She disagreed with my timeframe, preferring to get a little more sleep and enjoy the hotel’s buffet. I was a little concerned, but I deferred to her judgment.
When she was ready, we hopped into a taxi. However, halfway to the airport, my daughter realized she had forgotten her passport at the hotel. I explained the situation to our driver in broken Spanish, and he drove like a madman to rush us back. When we arrived at the airport, frazzled and rushed, I had to quickly kiss my daughter on the cheek and wish her a good flight. I waited until she texted me that she was through before heading back into the city, even though a piece of my heart was about to fly across the Atlantic without me.
I expected to hear from my daughter next when she landed. However, I received regular updates over the next two hours. She was stuck on the tarmac because of the weather, bored and unsure whether her flight would ever take off.
“You can always come back to the hotel,” I reminded her, but she ignored me. Her flight finally took off, but midway through, the passenger next to her stepped on her headphones, so she couldn’t watch movies or listen to music for the last half of her long journey across the ocean.
But she made it home safely
My daughter enjoyed the rest of her summer the way she wanted to.
I’m glad I let her take this huge leap toward independence. Although it’s sometimes hard for me to accept that my little girl is growing up, I knew she was ready to decide when it was time to leave and travel halfway across the world on her own.
Leaving her at the airport was just one of many goodbyes I know are coming as she gets older and creates her own life.
I’m glad I gave her the opportunity to prove that she is ready.
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