The number of times my 11-year-old daughter has asked to join Messenger Kids has jumped noticeably this year.
I’ve always believed I had good grounds to refuse, but to her, it’s just a way to chat with friends. What’s the harm? I’ve tried explaining how one app can lead to others, and how dependence on digital platforms can form quickly at her age.
Now, with Australia’s new ban on certain social media platforms for kids under 16, I can point to something more concrete: It’s against the law.
It can help parents say no
Here’s the thing, though: the Messenger Kids platform isn’t actually banned under the new legislation. Not yet anyway, even if its older sibling, Facebook, is. But the social media ban provides parents like me with a new reference point that normalizes our decision to say no.
I’m not a Luddite. As an editorial lead for a media and communications agency in Australia, I work with content designed for social media platforms. Technology is key to what I do, and I understand the value of it, including social media platforms.
But we all know these apps are designed to be addictive and to keep users — including children — scrolling. Research increasingly shows links to declining mental health and even potential effects on brain development.
I was concerned that the peer pressure to allow my children to join social media could make the decision to say no much harder than it ought to be. I’m hoping the ban will make it easier.
I want my kids to hang out with friends in real life
I have two kids, 11 and 8. I don’t want them to get into the habit of using social media platforms to interact with friends. I want them meeting friends in person or calling them, not becoming products for advertisers.
My children sometimes use my WhatsApp account for video calls with friends and family. Occasionally, they’ll watch an Instagram reel with Mum on her phone. But I think it’s important for most of their peer group interaction to occur at playdates, at school, or around the local neighborhood.
I live on the Sunshine Coast, in Queensland, a part of Australia that lends itself to a rich outdoor lifestyle, year-round. It’s easy for me to let my kids walk down the street to the park or visit friends nearby without constant adult supervision.
Among the other parents I speak with, the ban is a welcome shift in our relationship with social media platforms.
Taking social media out of the equation completely also means less overall screen time. I’m good with this. Less screen time means less passive consumption and more active play. Yes, my kids get bored. But wait a little while, and they always find interesting things to do.
Recently, after complaining for the better part of an hour about having to turn off the TV, my kids took themselves off and created a play. They wrote a script, rehearsed the lines, dressed in costumes, and performed.
It wouldn’t have happened if the screen had stayed on.
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