Being married to someone in the military often feels like you’re also married to the government.
Our lives are largely shaped by the demands and needs of the Air Force, which was a commitment my husband pursued in college before we met.
Now, as an active-duty military wife, I see how easily you can lose your sense of identity in the shadow of your spouse’s service.
Sometimes, I catch myself saying, “I’m Allie Hubers, and my husband’s an Air Force pilot!” — as if my most defining trait is my husband’s profession.
I learned quickly that his job will always come before mine, which can be a hard pill to swallow as someone with career ambitions.
However, we prioritize making decisions that support both of our professional goals. Even when it’s challenging, I refuse to lose my sense of self or give up on my own dreams.
My husband supports my career and dreams wholeheartedly
From the moment we met in college, my husband knew I dreamed of traveling the world and building a successful career.
I worked hard to graduate with top honors in my actuarial science program, and I spent the summers interning to help fund my study abroad dreams with Semester at Sea.
Shortly after graduation, my internship turned into a full-time job in data analytics — one that I genuinely loved. Since then, my husband has supported my career goals without reservation, even if it meant making sacrifices on his end.
For example, when my husband graduated from military pilot training, we made sure to consider my job when ranking which airframe he wanted to fly. We requested bases located in states where my company would allow me to continue working long-term.
I’ve been lucky to find remote work that aligns with my career goals
Remote work is one of the best options for military spouses, as it can allow us to continue working even when required to relocate frequently.
I’ve been fortunate to work the same data analytics job for 10 years with an employer that supports my unpredictable life as a military spouse.
During my husband’s pilot training, my boss arranged a flexible work schedule that allowed me to work remotely from Oklahoma. I commuted back to South Dakota every two weeks so I could work in the office, all while earning my MBA.
Eventually, I was approved to work fully remote when my husband received his flying assignment in the Florida Panhandle. I’m very grateful to have a job that can move with me, which is a rare constant in our ever-changing military life.
In addition to my steady career as a data analyst, I work other remote side gigs, including freelance writing and adjunct instructing at Penn State.
Having a fulfilling career is one aspect of our life that’s entirely my own, and it’s something I’m incredibly proud of.
Though I love our Air Force community, I also prioritize long-term friendships outside of the military
Ask any military spouse, and they’ll probably agree: Your friends quickly become family.
We’ve made lifelong connections during our time in the Air Force, but that doesn’t mean I neglect my other friendships. I won’t blink an eye to fly across the country to see my college roommates or attend a best friend’s wedding, even if I have to go solo.
It can be refreshing to step away from our active-duty bubble and remember who I am outside of being a military spouse.
These friendships keep me grounded and provide a sense of stability in our unpredictable military life. I’m reminded that no matter how much our lives change, these lifelong ties remain the same.
I haven’t given up on my dreams of traveling the world
Traveling is a huge passion of mine. Even though my husband and I love traveling together, his work schedule is demanding and difficult to plan around.
Between deployments, work trips, and training, he’s rarely available to travel as much as I’d like.
Rather than putting my dreams on hold, I choose to see the world with friends and family. Because we live across the country from our loved ones in the Midwest, traveling together provides quality time that I wouldn’t otherwise have.
Last fall, I spent three unforgettable weeks cruising across Australia with my parents and sister. Earlier in the year, I visited South Africa with a childhood friend to cross a safari off my bucket list.
These experiences mean the world to me and help fulfill my sense of adventure.
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