On an otherwise innocuous morning in January 2025, I lost my job.
When the CEO asked me into his office, I already knew what was coming. Management had held an emergency meeting earlier that morning, warning us that mass layoffs were coming.
Two of my colleagues had already had their meetings and received their letters. I was next.
As the HR manager and the CEO said words I was already expecting — “operational layoffs,” “budget cuts,” “severance” — part of me exited the conversation. Their voices faded into a kind of white noise, and my new reality began to sink in.
As a Canadian living in Germany, this job was a big part of what was tying me to the country. I knew that the impacts of being let go would be far-reaching.
The layoff triggered an immediate identity crisis
I had never been let go from a job before and, save for a four-month backpacking stint in 2013, I hadn’t been unemployed since I entered the workforce at 14. Over the years, as I gained greater responsibility at work, my job positions became closely tied to my identity.
Work was a part of who I was, and I was proud of that side of myself. I enjoyed finding solutions to challenging problems, managing small teams of employees, and coming up with creative ideas to push forward a product or campaign.
Without my job, who was I? What was my purpose?
In those first few days, I felt driftless. I’d first come to Germany to complete a Master’s degree, then I met my now-husband and stayed for love.
My job, however, had become such a big part of my life here. Now, not only had I lost that, but I had also lost a core community of like-minded international people who were living in Germany.
As a foreigner, finding an English-speaking job hadn’t been easy, and losing that job meant losing a certain sense of security in an otherwise unfamiliar place.
I had to navigate tons of logistics and paperwork
Although I was engaged to a German man, we hadn’t yet formally been married, and I was staying in the country on a work visa.
When I was let go, everything changed. My now-husband and I raced to secure a wedding date at the local city hall, which involved substantial paperwork.
Then there was the matter of unemployment benefits. Germany is known for its strong social safety net, but I found it surprisingly difficult to access it — especially as a foreigner.
Many parts of the process were handled by physical mail, and I had to compile more documents than I would have ever expected. Add my limited grasp of the German language to the mix, and navigating the German unemployment benefit system felt almost impossible.
After many months and a lot of help from my husband, my application for unemployment benefits was eventually approved, my marriage was finalized, and my family reunification visa replaced my former work visa.
Once the paperwork was out of the way, I adjusted to my new reality
After the initial shock passed, I got to planning.
I knew that for the sake of my mental health, I needed to fill my days. I couldn’t sit on the couch all day, binge-watching Netflix shows and regretting my life choices.
I created a strict schedule for myself, which involved applying for jobs in the mornings, pitching publications a couple of afternoons a week, and pursuing some lifelong goals, including yoga teacher training and running a half-marathon.
Although I wasn’t going to an office three to four days a week anymore, I still made an effort to see some of my former colleagues regularly. We’d often meet in coffee shops, apply for jobs together, and discuss the challenges of applying for unemployment benefits.
It was thanks to these meetings that a few of my colleagues and I began our data-science startup, eventually winning a grant from the German government to pursue our idea seriously over the next year.
My husband and I also expanded our beekeeping business, increasing the number of beehives under our care and our subsequent honey yield.
Sure, it’s not all fun and games — once my unemployment benefits ran out, the money I made from our small businesses and my freelancing was hardly the same as my former corporate salary. Job hunting has also been disheartening and demotivating.
Still, I wouldn’t change my current circumstances. I have more free time to spend with my family — both in Germany and in Canada — and I am pursuing my dreams. A lot is still up in the air, but over a year later, my day-to-day life finally feels right.
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