I never thought of myself as particularly patient. Then, my hairdresser mentioned that she’d had the same giant basket of unfolded laundry sitting in her living room for six months.
I offered to come over and help — not by doing her laundry, but by being her “body double.” “Body doubling” involves doing a task in the presence of another person to make it easier to stay focused, motivated, and on track.
For some people (particularly those with ADHD), simply having another person nearby can help them finally complete tasks that have been sitting on the to-do list for days — or years.
I’m a textbook Virgo and thrive on organization. I love a color-coded calendar, have a meticulously stocked desk drawer full of cute office supplies, and genuinely find cleaning and organizing my home soothing. However, I’m also a procrastinator extraordinaire. I work best when a deadline is on fire.
Although I haven’t been formally diagnosed with ADHD, I’ve found “body doubling” — whether sitting across from a friend in a coffee shop with our laptops or coworking over Zoom — to be the secret to helping me get work done with as little panic as possible.
I thought that if “body doubling” could help me meet my writing deadlines, perhaps it could help my hairdresser tackle some of her most overwhelming tasks.
This arrangement has helped us both — and I’ve made a friend in the process
So, my hairdresser and I struck up a deal: I’d come over and sit with her while she tackles the things she’s been avoiding (folding laundry, opening mail, hanging up clothes, and other small administrative tasks that somehow become increasingly overwhelming the longer they sit undone).
In exchange, she gives me a discount on my haircuts and complimentary professional color services, including highlights and treatments I never could have justified splurging on before.
In addition to the tasks mentioned above, I’ve supported my hairdresser in filling out forms to apply for government grants (she’s a single mom of three), organizing her email inbox, and even responding unemotionally to tricky messages she’s been avoiding.
Mostly though, I sit and keep her company, offering a mix of emotional support, accountability, and occasional enthusiastic sock-pairing.
We’ve been working together this way since February 2022, and although it’s an unusual arrangement for some people, it works for us.
Before I started getting my dark, wavy hair professionally coloured, I’d relied on box dye for the past 20 years. My pitch-black hair was also brittle and thinning.
Since I started getting it professionally colored, it’s the healthiest it’s been in decades. My hairdresser also managed to bring it back to the dark golden-brown color of my childhood, which feels a bit like getting a piece of myself back.
I’ve discovered I’m more patient than I thought, and I hope to take on more clients
Watching someone open months’ worth of mail isn’t how I imagined I’d spend my free time, yet I’ve discovered I’m surprisingly good at it.
Doing this has also reframed how I think about patience. I have an anxiety disorder, so my mind always feels very busy — hence the reason I’ve never considered myself to be especially patient. Yet recently, my hairdresser described me as a “calm and steady presence.”
I’m honored that someone trusts me enough to show me the messiest, most vulnerable parts of their life, and it’s helped me reframe how I see myself and what I have to offer.
When necessary, I can be a firm but kind leader who can slow down and meet people where they’re at.
In the past, I would have taken over and just done the tasks myself. Now I understand that sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is make someone feel a little less alone as they start the thing they’ve been unable to begin.
Either way, I still get to enjoy feeling a sense of accomplishment.
I like “body doubling,” and am considering turning it into a more traditional side hustle by taking on paying clients while I search for a new full-time job. I’m still figuring out what that might look like and how much I’d charge, but I’d be lying if I said the prospect of helping more people didn’t excite me.
In the meantime, I’m grateful to have access to incredible beauty services — and my hair has never looked better.
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