A year ago, my husband and I were living aboard a sailboat, traveling to a different port each week. Then, everything changed.
My husband received a job opportunity in New York, meaning it was time to move again. This adventure would be very different, though: Instead of leaving after a week, we were going to stay in one place indefinitely.
This would be a big shift for other reasons, too. I’d lived in the UK all my life before exploring Europe by boat. Sailing is a slow way to travel, so my surroundings shifted gradually. Now I’d be changing continents — and my entire life — overnight.
In some ways, spending 18 months at sea helped me feel ready for the move, but in other ways, I was completely unprepared.
Spending time at sea helped me accept unpredictability
It’s hard to make a concrete plan when sailing. The weather controls everything; not enough wind, and you won’t get to your destination on time. Too much wind, and you might not be able to go at all.
I had to learn to be comfortable with the unknown, be flexible with our itinerary, and work around obstacles.
That mindset was helpful during the moving process, especially while I was stuck in the UK waiting for my visa to come through. My husband had to go back to the US first, but I couldn’t join him until my paperwork was approved, and I wasn’t sure how long it would take.
Before my sailing experience, this kind of situation would have made me feel unsettled and anxious — but instead, I was able to enjoy the moment and my last weeks in the UK.
Once I got to New York, I realized I had new skills that helped me adapt to an unfamiliar place
Two months after my husband moved, I could finally join him in New York. In some ways, the adjustment was surprisingly easy.
Thanks to my time at sea, I felt comfortable exploring new places and relying on Google Maps and my intuition to get around. I’d wandered around so many new towns, trying to find a spot for lunch or a drink, that doing the same thing in New York didn’t feel as intimidating as I expected.
It also turns out that, though living in a New York City apartment is substantially more comfortable than life on a sailboat, there are some similarities. I’m still woken up at night, though now it’s by traffic noise instead of the movement of our boat.
My apartment, much like my boat, has its quirks and maintenance issues, but now I can call someone to help me when something breaks.
I’m still trying to break some of my boat habits
Living on a boat is often incredibly inconvenient.
Without access to a car, I was limited to grocery stores within walking distance of wherever we’d docked, and there was never a guarantee that I’d find one. So, I’d gotten used to stocking up on essentials whenever I found them, or buying heavy things if a store happened to be really close by.
Now, I don’t need to worry about how long it will be before I can get access to food and supplies again, and I don’t have to constantly think about how long it will be before I run out of something. I can just put my shoes on, walk a block or two, and buy a replacement.
Still, although I’m almost a year into my new life on land, my old habits are taking some time to break. I still find myself turning on taps halfway to save water, rationing ingredients, or obsessively using lids for pots on the stove to save gas.
It’s still taken a while to get into the New York state of mind
Most of my sailing journey took me through remote parts of Europe, like Scottish islands, rural Brittany in France, or small towns in northwestern Spain.
These areas are absolutely beautiful, but I also found them to be quiet, calm, and sleepy.
Coming to New York felt overwhelming at first. I couldn’t believe how busy and dense the city is, but much like sailing, there’s never a dull moment.
The hardest part has been building community. It was surprisingly easy to meet people when sailing, particularly in areas with many other boats.
Sailing is transient, though: Everyone is heading to different places, and I’d rarely see someone again in the next port. As a result, I became pretty skilled at connecting with new people, but I’m out of practice when it comes to maintaining relationships.
Now that I’m in one place, it’s finally possible to build new, lasting friendships — but that isn’t something I’ve had to do since I left university and started working in London, well over a decade ago.
I didn’t have any family or friends in New York besides my husband, and I’ve had to start from scratch. Creating community for myself has definitely been harder and taken longer than I expected.
That said, I’ve really been enjoying the process. The energy in New York is infectious; most people I’ve met have been driven and friendly, with interesting stories to tell. Although the transition back to life on land has been hard, it’s been very rewarding.
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