When my boyfriend (now husband) got an opportunity to move from New York City to Denver to start his dream job, we both knew it was right for him.
I, however, wasn’t quite ready to follow.
For seven years, I’d been living in New York City, where I attended college and stayed after graduation to build a career in restaurant marketing.
I worked with chefs I admired, launched brands, and stayed busy with everything from pop-up events and new openings to impromptu dinners.
I was thriving, but after my boyfriend moved for the job, his presence felt like a missing piece in my otherwise full life. Just a few weeks into being apart, he came back to New York City to visit me and proposed.
As we started to plan our wedding and future, I knew Denver was the next step for me — my husband loved his job, his salary was far higher than mine, and at first, I wasn’t too worried about the idea of moving.
I assumed I could recreate a similar rhythm anywhere, so I transitioned to a remote role at my company and followed him to Colorado less than a year after he took the job.
Starting over wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped
After a month in my new city, I thought I might be happier cutting ties with my life in New York to be more present. So, I quit my job and told myself I’d freelance and enjoy the slower pace of life.
But reality set in quickly. While my husband enjoyed his work, I was alone, dealing with the jarring transition from being overbooked in a loud, crowded city to having an abundance of space and silence.
I started exploring Denver’s food scene, skied more, built new routines with my husband, and always paused to appreciate the mountain skyline — even on ordinary drives.
Meanwhile, in an effort to gain some professional footing, I started a new job in an adjacent field, but I still found myself missing the Big Apple’s restaurant marketing scene.
None of the roles I looked into in Denver felt right, and eventually, I picked things back up with my old job remotely and started reconnecting with the kind of work that energizes me.
Despite my efforts, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d left a part of myself in New York.
I’m moving back to the city that moves me
Love brought me to Denver, but after one year here, my purpose is bringing me back to New York City.
After months of reflection and late-night conversations, my husband and I came to a decision that feels deeply right: I’m moving back to New York this summer.
I’m excited to reestablish myself in the place that makes me feel most alive and get back to the work that fulfills me. There, restaurant marketing feels like more than a job — it’s a playground and a constant creative challenge, and I love being surrounded by people who push and inspire me.
I feel lucky not only to know what drives me, but also to have a partner who encourages me to chase it wholeheartedly. My husband and I have had open, thoughtful discussions about our future, and we both see New York as part of it.
Long-term, we hope to build our life there together. But for now, we’ve agreed to live apart for about six months and see each other every three weeks, taking things one step at a time.
It’s not the most traditional arrangement, but it feels like the right one for us.
Read the full article here
