My grandparents, whom I call Papa and GG, have been together since they were teenagers and married for 54 years.
As I’ve grown up, I’ve realized the secret to their lasting love hasn’t been perfection or grand gestures. Instead, it’s in finding joy and meaning in life’s small, everyday moments.
Their marriage has taught me how powerful a gentle, consistent love can be, and how beautifully it can shape everything around it.
Here are three of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from them that I hope to bring into my own relationships.
To maintain the “spark,” nurture curiosity
Whether it’s by going on a spontaneous camping trip or navigating retirement together, my grandparents delight in discovering new things about each other.
Both avid readers, they often will sit beneath their orange tree and share quotes from their books. After long Sunday walks through the park, they also like to continue their running card game of gin rummy, laughter, and nostalgic stories tumbling between them.
Even after decades together, they also eat dinner with each other nearly every night, eager to unravel each other’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Find creative, consistent ways to express your love
My grandparents have found a variety of ways to show each other they care.
Every morning, for example, my Papa clips the “Love Is…” comic strip from the newspaper and places it on the kitchen counter for GG. He also writes poems, scribbled on notepads, painted on rocks, or sent as random texts throughout the day.
Meanwhile, GG often sends photos of heart-shaped stones or leaves she finds on her walks, and they both leave handwritten notes in each other’s suitcases when they travel.
Physical affection anchors it all, though. There’s rarely ever a moment when they aren’t holding hands or resting a head on a shoulder. They often seem to do it without even realizing, as though one another is as constant and grounding as gravity.
Remember to prioritize your own happiness, too
In my opinion, one of the reasons their relationship still feels so alive is because they never stopped making room for their individual interests.
GG started playing mahjong in retirement and now competes in tournaments, and Papa likes to play golf around the world.
Instead of resenting or fearing change, they celebrate each other’s passions, and watching each other reinvent themselves sustains their mutual excitement.
The common thread is joy
These days, it can be hard to sift through the barrage of conflicting advice on how to find and cultivate long-lasting love.
Still, witnessing my grandparents build a life out of tiny kindnesses — notes slipped into suitcases, breakfast cartoons, and shared laughter — has shown me the recipe is simpler than we think.
I see how extraordinary it is to share life’s simplest joys, to choose a partner who is real, steady, and kind. That level of devotion is an everyday miracle, and I try to weave those threads into my own relationships.
I send handwritten letters back and forth with my friends and family, and my boyfriend and I collect concert tickets, printed menus, and postcards from trips and dates we’ve experienced.
These items are arranged in a collage in my apartment, ink-stained and wrinkled, but tangible proof of the love my grandparents have taught me to sow.
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