I often think of one sentence from my late grandmother’s obituary: “She kept her 10 children fed and clothed.”
Yes, she had 10 children, but what’s mesmerizing about this statement is that she always made sure her children had what they needed. As a former single mom of just one boy, I know firsthand that keeping your children fed, clothed, and taken care of is no small feat.
Once I had my own son, I was blessed to spend a lot of time with my grandmother, as we both lived in the same area for the first time. I saw her several times a week, often for lunch or dinner visits. On Sundays and holidays, she typically had our family over for dinner.
I observed all of the ways in which she made these daily meals, visits, and holidays special without having a lot of money.
She showed me that buying secondhand could help stretch a small budget
My grandmother loved frequenting thrift stores and yard sales so that most of her clothes and furniture were found items. In retirement, she volunteered at the local thrift store and always bought things for her children and grandchildren, frequently asking us if there was anything we needed.
The toys she found for my son often became his favorite, while the gently used clothing she picked up for him helped me always keep my son in well-fitting clothes. When I moved into my own home, we scoured yard sales together and found my dining room table and even a lawn mower for my new yard.
I had a handful of Christmases as a mom that were tough money-wise. I found myself using my experience thrifting with my grandmother to find unique gifts, such as a vintage Coca-Cola snow globe and a collector’s Batman and Joker set. My son didn’t know they weren’t brand new. To him, they were just treasures that he still has.
She fed us all well with so little in her kitchen
When it came to putting a meal together, I still marvel at the way my grandmother could create something cozy and plentiful with very little on hand. Dinners were adorned with plates of pickles and olives, saltines and butter, and linen napkins.
These small things helped meals feel more like an event and also gave the impression of an abundance of food.
She earned a reputation for never letting anything go to waste, a habit she developed growing up on a farm during the Great Depression. Leftovers were reworked into meals the next day, and there was never anything too small to save, whether half of an apple or just one clove of garlic.
I saw that it didn’t take much money to make a house feel like a home. Even the ordinary day felt special if you were visiting with her. Sure, her decorations were small acts of love, but she was also attentive. She really made the point to see how you were doing and was hospitable, always offering a cookie or another cup of coffee.
I found myself resorting to her secrets when money got tight
As a single mom on a small budget, I caught myself using the same tricks I had picked up from my grandmother. My son’s birthday parties, for instance, were often decorated with found items around the home — tablecloths, flowers, and decorative dishware.
For holidays, I focused on the traditions we could build that cost next to nothing but emphasized togetherness, such as making festive cutout cookies or taking Christmas light drives around the neighborhood.
I ensured holidays were never about the quantity of gifts, but the thought put into them. My grandmother always got me one present for my birthday or Christmas, but it would be something special, often useful, and timeless.
Because of her, I knew how to provide my son
I struggled with wanting to provide for my son without having a lot of money. I never wanted him to feel like he was lacking in anything.
In many ways, my grandmother showed me how to create an illusion of plenty. It didn’t matter that I relied on used goods or had to find ways to spread the groceries out because my son never noticed. He was always fed and clothed well.
Most of all, he felt safe. His home was warm, welcoming, and decorated to cheer up our day-to-day lives. I was always there for him, offering to be a Lego buddy or seeing if he needed a snack. My grandmother’s ways showed me that I didn’t need a lot of money to take care of my son. I just needed to be there for him, with the right attitude and creative ingenuity.
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