Weddings are supposed to be about bringing people together, but an upcoming one seems to be driving some of my friend group apart.
My ride-or-dies have been a unit for 25 years, so we were all psyched when one of our perpetual bachelors met someone great, and even happier when they got engaged.
But now that the save-the-dates are hanging on our fridges, the cold, hard truth set in: Their wedding is on a Thursday afternoon.
This crashing realization has sent the text messages flying among those of us who don’t get traditional paid time off.
Others began wondering just how much couples save by scheduling nuptials on a workday. (One friend’s reply? “Plenty, when half your guest list doesn’t show up.”)
However, I didn’t hesitate to RSVP “yes” — and I don’t think a Thursday wedding is so bad.
I don’t blame couples for saving money with a midweek wedding, though it can come with drawbacks
Couples who get married on a Thursday can indeed save money — even if all of their guests show up.
Massachusetts-based event coordinator Jayme Fink confirmed to me that many venues and vendors, from florists to photographers, charge less for a wedding on a Thursday, as they’re less popular than ones on a Friday or Saturday.
Those savings are nothing to scoff at when the average wedding costs tens of thousands of dollars. We also live in New England, one of the most expensive regions in the US to host a wedding.
As someone who realized after planning my own wedding that it truly is just one day, I’d also have a more subdued bash to save some cash if I could do it all over again.
However, as my group’s exchanges seemed to confirm, a midweek wedding is not without drawbacks. Many guests won’t be able to take time off for it, especially if travel is required.
Plus, Fink said, it probably isn’t ideal for couples who want a high-energy celebration.
“I understand that, as a guest, Thursday weddings save a ton of money — that’s a big deal. But you still have a limited party atmosphere on Thursday nights because most of your guests are thinking about work the next day,” Fink said.
This choice can also lead to extra criticism from guests.
She said that a midweek wedding “signals that the couple prioritized budget and venue availability over guest convenience,” which is “often interpreted as inconsiderate.”
Although some may not be able to attend, I’ll happily use my PTO
Family, friends, and other invited guests are going to judge couples for just about every wedding decision they make, from the menu to the music. So, why stop at the date?
If a couple wants to wed on a Thursday to save money and they feel OK with the possible downsides, they might as well.
As for me, 11 months’ notice is plenty for me to squirrel away a few hours of Thursday PTO and make plans to keep my work schedule light the morning after the celebration.
Fortunately, I don’t have to travel far. I’m glad I get to show up for my friends and don’t mind using a vacation day to do it.
In the meantime, I’ll be searching for the perfect wedding-guest dress — maybe one that’s on sale so I can save some money, too.
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