This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Katie Passarello, a public relations contractor living in Cariño, Spain. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
Staying long after the food or drink is finished to sit around a table and share conversations is at the heart of Spanish culture.
The Spanish call this “sobremesa.” To me, it’s one of the greatest experience in life and part of why I fell in love with the country.
I moved to northern Spain in 2021 and never left.
I’ve always wanted to travel
From a young age, I was interested in other cultures. I was raised in California and had an amazing childhood. But I knew from early in my life, I wanted to get outside my comfort zone.
While studying international relations at Boston College, I traveled to Italy to visit friends. Spending time with someone living in the culture was so different from visiting as a tourist, and my urge to experience the world grew.
I was drawn to Europe because you could travel between countries, and many people were multilingual. Being from California, I spoke a bit of Spanish, so Spain seemed like a logical place to consider.
My college program encouraged studying abroad, so I headed to Spain in January 2020. COVID-19 hit Spain hard, and I had to return to the States in March. I’d seen just enough to fall in love — the slow days and fascinating people had me researching my path back.
I moved to Spain as a student and never left
I applied to teach English in Galicia, a northern region of Spain, through the Fulbright scholarship, a selective year-long program for students traveling abroad after I graduated.
After a rigorous application process, I was accepted and moved to Cariño, a city at the northwest tip of Spain to teach.
When I started my new position, I taught second through fifth grade English as a coteacher. A few weeks into the experience, I was already researching how to stay in Spain. I immediately fell in love with the amazing food, gorgeous country, and the lack of hustle culture compared to the US.
When Fulbright ended, I started working on my Master’s in digital marketing and strategy at a Spanish university. During my studies, whenever I headed too far into overachiever land, other students in my group would say, “Hey, we can just do what the assignment says and not blow this out of proportion.”
I was no longer in a place where the goal was to be the top of everything, which was a huge relief. When I visit California now, I immediately am struck with the sense of “Am I doing enough? Am I saving enough? Am I progressing in my career enough?” The answer is always “no.”
I don’t feel the constant need to get ahead, or like I’m always falling behind, in Spain.
Three months into my time in Spain, my path kept overlapping with a man named Miguel. I was drawn to his character and work ethic — he is an engineer at a sustainable architecture firm. We have been together for over three years and plan to get married and build a life together. I’ve also made some unexpected and profound friendships.
It’s not always tapas and siestas
It can be easy to fantasize that moving abroad will be all tapas and siestas. While that’s true, like anywhere, it has its struggles.
I was on a student visa during the program. There was a hangup with my visa as I transitioned from the Fulbright program to my Master’s program. More issues cropped up when I wanted to stay in Spain for good.
I learned that slow bureaucratic processes are the downside to living in a culture with a more relaxed pace of life.
I now have an EU Residency. Miguel and I are “Pareja De Hecho,” which grants me residency as his legal partner in Spain. With this status, I can work and live in Spain.
In December 2023, Miguel and I fell in love with an old apartment and bought it. The apartment cost 135,000 euros (around $152,000), we put down a 20% deposit and invested 85,600 euros (around $96,000) of our own savings to renovate it.
The project came with unexpected trials like “carcoma” or woodworm — my new least favorite Spanish word. Aside from that, it has been worth the trials to live in a beautiful town with my partner.
Costs of moving abroad
I started working and saving money as a teenager.
The summer before I moved to Spain, I worked several jobs, as I knew the Fulbright stipend wouldn’t cover my living expenses and the fun travel I had planned. I saved a lot.
These savings, plus money I earned working full time after Fulbright, paid for my half of the apartment down payment and upfront renovation costs.
Now, I work in public relations as an independent contractor. I can visit family, maintain clients in the US and Spain, and work on a schedule that fits my American roots and Spanish life.
The cost of living is lower than in California, but so are the salaries, which were shocking initially. Working a lot and with US clients means I have a higher savings capacity.
I don’t live a high-roller lifestyle. I enjoy living modestly, saving and having money to travel home or invest in the house.
What the future holds
Five years after my first trip to Spain, and I’ve built a life here.
I love cooking and hosting with Miguel, our meals sometimes merge Californian culture with Spanish food.
Homesickness is real. It is a constant ache and longing for what’s familiar, for your old country, your family, and your friends. We might go back one day, but not today. I can’t imagine having kids without my mom nearby.
For now, I’m grateful for the original Spanish woodwork above my table, a loving partner, and friends joining for “sombresa” in my beautiful new city.
Read the full article here
