The money lessons we carry into adulthood often begin with what we overhear on our way to school or, just as often, what no one talks about at all. For many of us, our parents’ views on debt become the default settings in our financial lives. Whether it was a cautionary tale about credit cards or a hard-won belief in living below one’s means, their influence lingers.
I interviewed two Bankrate experts and reflected on my own experience to explore the best and worst debt advice we received from our fathers. Our stories reveal how money wisdom — especially around borrowing — can offer both guidance and guilt, protection and pressure. And, perhaps most importantly, these stories give us time to reflect on how we’re navigating adulthood today and reinterpreting unforgettable lessons for a new economic reality.
What dad got right: Debt lessons that hold true today
Sometimes, the best financial advice is more about mindset than math.
I was five months into building my coaching business and venting about the business debt I had taken on. My dad looked at me and said, “You’re in control of your schedule. You have freedom if you choose to use it.”
That reminder reframed everything for me. My business debt wasn’t a sign of struggle, it was a tool I used — and continue to use — to invest in myself. His words helped me see debt as neutral until I gave it purpose.
Kellye Guinan, a Bankrate loans editor, grew up hearing the same message in many forms: “Avoid unnecessary spending. Live within your means.” Her dad’s advice wasn’t flashy, but it stuck. Those habits helped her build enough savings to handle unexpected expenses like fixing her car’s air conditioning and offering support to friends in need. Over time, she’s come to see that practicing patience with money is what builds real financial resilience.
For Bankrate insurance writer Shannon Martin, her dad’s practicality stood out: “Only use a credit card if you can pay it off in full each month.” She remembers how her parents furnished their home piece by piece, buying one item at a time with cash. “They’d go on a date every other Friday to buy a new piece of Ethan Allen furniture,” Martin recalls. That steady, debt-free approach to building a life left a lasting impression — especially once she began tackling her own credit card debt in adulthood.
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Where dad missed the mark: Debt advice that didn’t age well
Even advice given with the best intentions can become outdated or limiting when passed down without context.
For me, the harmful lesson wasn’t anything my father said — it was what he didn’t. The silence around money growing up created a gap in my financial education. The only message I absorbed was that you should always do things yourself.
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That DIY pride delayed me from outsourcing help when I needed it most. I took years to realize that spending money to preserve my energy — especially as a business owner and parent of two children — was a smart decision, not wasteful.
Guinan’s dad, on the other hand, had one clear rule: Stay away from credit cards. While well-meaning, that advice set her back. “I didn’t get a card until my mid-20s,” says Guinan. By then, she had missed out on years of building credit. Because of that delay, she ended up with a mediocre auto loan rate and a modest starting credit limit. It wasn’t the worst outcome, but it put her on a slower path to financial independence.
Martin points out that her dad’s risk-averse nature — staying loyal to one bank, one insurance company, one job — also had its downsides. As someone who now owns multiple properties, she’s taken financial risks that her dad would consider reckless. “Compared to him, some of my financial decisions seem really risky,” Martin says. “But hopefully, the pay off will be worth it.”
Unpacking the generational divide
It’s easy to forget just how different our parents’ economic world was when they were younger and how that shaped their perspectives. They grew up with pensions, affordable college tuition and starter homes that cost a fraction of today’s prices — even when mortgage interest rates were high. For many, debt was viewed as dangerous simply because there were fewer social programs to fall back on during hard times and limited options for rebuilding credit or managing repayment once you fell behind.
Today’s economy is more complex. Many of us enter adulthood with student loan debt and face inflated housing costs, a gig economy and a credit system that practically demands we use debt strategically to access basic necessities like housing and transportation.
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That’s why some of the guidance that worked in the past, like avoiding all credit cards or only paying in cash, doesn’t serve us as well now. The system has changed, and so must our approach.
Still, earlier generations’ caution was often rooted in love. Teaching us to be self-reliant, to avoid overspending or to avoid risky decisions came from a desire to protect. It’s up to us to interpret those lessons in ways that fit today’s realities.
What we’re choosing to keep and let go of
As we evolve financially, many of us are redefining what it means to be responsible with money.
I’ve kept the belief that resourcefulness matters. But I’ve let go of the idea that stretching a dollar is always better than spending one. There’s a limit to how much we can cut back, but no limit to how much we can earn.
Guinan has found her own middle ground: Continuing to live below her means and embracing credit cards as a tool. “You can’t use credit cards responsibly if you don’t know how to avoid overspending,” she says. Her dad’s lessons didn’t disappear — they just gained nuance.
And Martin is learning to balance her dad’s love of stability with her own willingness to try new financial strategies, like giving her 9-year-old a Greenlight debit card to teach money management. Her daughter is already saying things like, “Mom, I don’t like cleaning. It’s not fair I have to work to buy things — I just want money.’” Martin simply replies, “Me too, kid.’”
We don’t have to follow our fathers’ advice exactly as it was given to appreciate where it came from. Whether we’re keeping their lessons, updating them or choosing a new path entirely, we can honor their intentions while shaping a relationship with money that fits our lives.
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