I’m a girl who loves her independence. Although I’m a proud extrovert, I live on my own, I like being able to get in my car and drive wherever I want, and I enjoy a good solo date.
As comfortable as I am doing things alone, though, I still prefer to celebrate really special moments with my loved ones. One of those moments is my birthday.
Unfortunately, in the weeks leading up to my 29th birthday, the stars weren’t exactly aligning in my favor. Friends either already had their schedules booked, were tied up with other responsibilities, or just didn’t respond when I asked if they were free.
I understand life is busy, but I did feel a bit sad that no one showed a lot of interest in celebrating with me. Still, one thing I’m trying to learn as I get older is that I can’t press pause on my happiness just because other people aren’t available.
Instead, I booked my very first solo trip to an all-inclusive resort in Cancún, and it ended up being exactly what I needed.
The first day felt a little uncomfortable
Shortly after I landed in Mexico, it hit me that it was my first time traveling outside the US in 24 years — and if you’ve done the math, that last time was when I was 5 years old.
Simple things like going through immigration at the airport or communicating with my driver in limited Spanish felt very new to me.
When I checked in at the resort, the gentleman helping me noticed that I’d listed my birthday as the reason for my reservation. The lady standing at the counter next to me overheard the exchange and asked if I was here on my own.
After I said yes, she told me how brave I was to celebrate alone, adding that she would never be able to do that.
Hours later, I made my way to dinner at the Mexican restaurant they had on the property — I couldn’t wait to take a bite of the chicken fajitas and tres leches cake I saw on the menu. When I got there and requested a table for one, though, I remember the hostess asking, “Oh really, it’s just you?”
I know she didn’t mean any harm, but I started feeling a little self-conscious. Was this all a mistake?
However, by the time my order arrived, I was so happy just to eat the yummy food in front of me and admire the sounds of the waterfall in the nearby courtyard that I wasn’t really concerned about what other people may have been thinking.
After all, I told myself, most people on vacation are probably too preoccupied enjoying themselves to judge anyone else.
Getting to set my own itinerary was a dream
Being on a group trip means you often have to take into consideration several other people’s opinions about what to eat, where to go, when to rest … the list goes on.
The nice thing about being at an all-inclusive alone, though, was that my trip was already somewhat planned. I just got to sit back and handpick the things I actually wanted to do — without any compromises.
Sleep in until noon? Sure. Order room service in the middle of the night? Go for it. Attend the morning sip-and-paint class? Check.
If I wanted to spontaneously take a dip in the ocean even after straightening my hair and putting on a full face of makeup, I could, and no one would stop me.
I did all of these absolutely guilt-free, because I wasn’t responsible for anyone else and nobody was waiting on me, either.
I got to catch up on so many things I was neglecting
Going on my first major solo trip made me realize I hadn’t been prioritizing all my needs.
Even though I really enjoy getting dressed up, I hadn’t been putting much time into my appearance, mainly because I work from home and not many people see me throughout the day.
Since it was my birthday week, I made an extra effort to feel pretty, and it instantly uplifted my mood.
I’m also always wishing for more time in my day to read. Although I’ve historically been a nonfiction reader, I forced myself to bring two romance novels on this vacation as a reminder that I’m allowed to read purely for fun.
I finished reading both books over the six days I was there, and have kept up the habit since returning home.
Overall, this was the first time in a long time I felt confident in living my life as I pleased, without worrying about anyone else’s thoughts or concerns.
I love the rain, and on the day of my birthday, there was a short thunderstorm. I felt a sense of childlike joy as I jumped into the lazy river while it was pouring outside.
I’d do it all again
What started as a vacation I was really nervous about turned into the trip I was most sad to leave. Traveling solo on my birthday filled my cup and desperately gave me the rest I needed.
Most of all, it also reminded me to do more things that bring me joy, even if they’re scary at first. I came back to California feeling more confident and empowered than ever.
And who knows? My 30th birthday is right around the corner, so maybe I’ll do it all over again. I think Europe’s calling my name.
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