I’m like a lot of other people who daydreamed at a young age about what their life partner would be like. But no amount of contemplation could have fully prepared me for life with the person I chose — he’s an identical triplet.
Sharing life experiences with two other humans who look exactly like him is all Chris has known since birth, and it doesn’t usually faze him. None of the three are attention seekers, so it generally takes a while before they discuss their sibling situation, if they do at all.
When we started dating, Chris and I didn’t live in the same city as his brothers, so it was often easy to forget his triplet status. But I’m not going to lie: The first several times I got together with all three brothers, it felt weird.
Their personalities are very different
They constantly joke at the others’ expense. The kind of humor where my husband says in jest that he’s the firstborn and therefore is entitled to the entire family inheritance. That’s often followed by him wryly describing how he was quite accomplished and sipping a scotch by the time the next brother was born — a whole two minutes later.
It didn’t take long for me to understand that although all three brothers have similar physical traits and are kind, loving, smart people, their personalities really are different. Over the years, they’ve each become such distinct people to me that I don’t even recognize that they look alike unless someone points it out.
People stare at them
But that’s not how most others view it. The novelty of multiples for other people means our life has flip-flopped between being ho-hum like everyone else’s and being a bizarre three-ring circus.
When we’re all in public together, we get attention. People do double-takes. Some point and whisper. Some approach — often sheepishly — and ask, “Are you guys twins?” It’s like the brothers are celebrities and people can’t help but be drawn to them and ask questions, many of which are eyeroll-worthy.
When people realize I’m in a relationship with one of the brothers, the barrage of questions often turns toward me.
“Do they play tricks on you?” Sigh. No.
“Are you attracted to the others?” Ew, NO.
“Do you ever mix them up?” No. Well, OK, only once.
A brother-in-law lived with us for a while. One day, I was in the kitchen cooking when he and my husband came home separately within minutes of each other, said hi to me, then each went out for a run. My husband returned first, bent over to take off his sneakers, and I playfully yelled to him, “Nice ass!”
Except it wasn’t him.
I immediately froze when my BIL turned around and gave me the same deer-in-headlights look I knew was mirrored on my face. We both erupted in laughter. But I’ve never made that mistake again.
Someone thought 1 of the brothers was having an affair with me
When Chris and I live in the same city as one of the other brothers, triplet challenges are more common. Like when people who don’t know there are three of them see Chris on the street, think he is one of the others, and come up to say hi. So many times the stranger starts chatting excitedly, only to be met with, “Hi, I’m Chris. Who are you? Do you know one of my brothers?” The person always looks very, very confused.
One of these public encounter situations turned really awkward after my brother-in-law’s coworker saw Chris and me leaving a restaurant holding hands. The person didn’t come up to say hi, but rather returned to work armed with the false rumor that my BIL was having an affair.
Most of the encounters are positive, though. People get a thrill from seeing this rare breed of human, and it can provide conversation material and amusement for hours.
Some people think I should have known what to expect from life with a triplet because my dad is a twin. But he’s a fraternal twin and looks really different from his brother. Being married to a noticeable 6’5″ person who has two duplicates was completely new territory for me.
Most people say they want lasting fun in their relationship. Well, being married to an identical triplet has been a fun adventure 99% of the time. We have our ups and downs, and silly spats about how to load the dishwasher, just like any other marriage. But no matter what, I wouldn’t trade my triplet husband for the world.
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