- When leaving jobs in the past, relationships with work friends have always fizzled out.
- I decided to be more intentional with my friend Kate, who I met at work.
- When I left the company we met at, we remained close, even though we’ve never met in person.
Whenever I’ve left a job, the relationship with my work bestie, someone I talked to daily, would wither away to the occasional Instagram comment or a half-hearted “we should catch up soon” that never actually happened. It was frustrating to realize workplace camaraderie is often fleeting. We job hop. We get busy. And if you work remotely, like I do, the barrier to friendship is even higher. There’s only so much small talk I can handle on Zoom before I log off.
But then I met Kate. And for the first time, I realized that being intentional about a work friendship could change its trajectory.
We became close at work, but I left the company
I started my first copywriting job in 2021, and Kate was the SEO editor. At first, we bonded over the work itself, a shared love for writing long-form brand articles, tweaking headlines, and figuring out how to make our work topics interesting. But what really pushed us into work bestie status, like most people, was venting about a shared dislike for a certain coworker. That sealed the deal. Bond set, we continued to grow closer.
Then, I decided to leave the company. And while I was excited for what was next, I worried that, like so many other work friendships, this one would fade into the background of my professional past, leaving me to feel weird about missing someone I’d never spent time with outside Slack. That’s probably how it would’ve gone if we hadn’t made the conscious and slightly unusual decision to set up standing FaceTime chats.
It started as a way to keep in touch professionally — quick check-ins about where we were working, what projects we were tackling, and who we should connect each other with. But over time, it evolved into a work-adjacent relationship that is part mentorship, part friendship, and part professional partnership.
Our calls stretch beyond career updates. We talk about creative pursuits — me writing my debut novel, Kate going back to school to study arboriculture (which, yes, means trees). We dissect our personal and professional frustrations, feeling stuck or burnout. We’ve faced layoffs, promotion denials, and the stress of not knowing what we want next. Through it all, Kate has been my sounding board, offering advice, encouragement, and, most importantly, the reminder that I’m not alone in navigating work and life.
And the funny thing? We’ve never met in person, and it’s been three years.
We’ve kept up virtually so far, but our friendship is very real
Our friendship exists entirely through screens and texts. We joke about it often, how strange it is that we know so much about each other’s lives but have never shared a meal, never walked down the street together, never hugged hello or goodbye. “One day I’ll visit Portland,” I always say. “And I want to visit New York,” Kate replies.
I know it will happen eventually. And when it does, it’ll feel like a natural next step — not the beginning of our friendship, but just another chapter. Because even though we’ve never been in the same place at the same time, our relationship is real.
Most work friendships fizzle out, but this one didn’t because we treated it like any other meaningful relationship that involved effort, time, and intentionality. And because of that, I’ve started approaching all my work friendships differently. I no longer assume they’ll fade the moment someone moves on. Now, I make the first move — I send the text, schedule the catch-up call, and find ways to keep the connection alive. Sometimes, I feel even closer to the people I once spent 40 hours a week with.
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