This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sabel Bezet. It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I was growing up, my parents were focused on building their business. They overcame bankruptcy when I was young and went on to found a debt settlement company that’s now valued at $50 million.
My siblings and I had access to things other kids didn’t have, like family trips to Europe and luxury items in our home. But my parents invested so much time in the business that they sacrificed quality time with us. Often, we spent more time with the nanny than with Mom and Dad.
I don’t feel that I lacked anything as a child. Still, I’ve taken a different approach to life as an adult, especially now that I’m a mom to two kids, a 6-month-old and a 2-year-old. I want to focus on spending quality time with my kids every day, even if that comes at the expense of monetary wealth.
My husband and I talked about money from the start
I met my now-husband, Jordan, when we were teenagers. We went to the same church, and our parents were close. We started dating in my senior year of high school, when Jordan was in college.
Jordan knew, even then, that he wanted to be a pastor. He was never intimidated by my family’s financial status, but he did bring it up early on while we were dating. He warned me that, as his wife, my lifestyle might look different from what I was accustomed to.
I didn’t mind — I’ve never been motivated by money, and I didn’t let fear lead me. I knew a life with Jordan would be rich in currencies like love and purpose.
I’m middle-class these days
Today, Jordan is a pastor. Just over 18 months ago, I quit my job to focus on my family. Our household income is just below the median income for US households.
Growing up, my family never budgeted because they didn’t have to. When Jordan and I were first married, he taught me about budgeting. He explained that we had a set income and bills that absolutely had to be paid. There wasn’t a lot of wiggle room.
Still, we’re able to manage our money well, in part because of lessons I’ve learned from my parents. Though I didn’t learn budgeting from them, my parents taught me other financial lessons, like the importance of giving. They always tithe 10% of their income, and Jordan and I do the same. We save another 10% for retirement and investing, and live off the remaining 80%.
We live in Florida, in a nice four-bedroom, three-bathroom house. We have a mortgage on it, but were able to afford a bigger house after making a profit when we sold our starter home. Overall, we don’t want for much.
We still have some access to wealth
I can still access many of the nice things wealth brings because of my parents. They don’t support us financially — it was important for me and Jordan to have our family stand as its own unit. Still, their wealth impacts us in other ways.
In March, my parents flew us to Vail, Colorado, to stay with them in the Ritz and go skiing. It was definitely ritzy, pun intended. In August, we’re planning a trip to their vacation home in Montana. We can also consult their wealth advisors whenever we want, which is useful even though our limited investment portfolio looks very different from my parents’.
Because of how I was raised, I have expensive tastes. I appreciate quality items, even though my wallet doesn’t always support them. I might have to save a bit longer, but I try to shop intentionally and choose items I love.
My mom’s love language is gift giving, so she spoils me and my daughters. For my birthday, she got me a Lola Blanket, which can cost $250 or more. I wouldn’t have spent that money on a blanket that will be on the couch in a home with two kids, but it has brought me so much joy.
I believe richness isn’t just about money
I’m incredibly content with my modest life. Watching my parents’ entrepreneurship journey showed me that quality time with loved ones is important. Money is too, but I’m conscious about balancing both. Recently, I started a Substack, which may eventually create income. If it does, that’s an efficient way for me to make some money, without sacrificing quality time with my daughters.
To me, the word “rich” is multifaceted. Richness isn’t just dollars, but quality time and love. Sometimes, those things go further than money ever could.
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