This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Beth Bigler, a former Hollywood development executive who gave up her film career to start a business as a pet grief counselor. It has been edited for length and clarity.
It all started with my soulmate, Arnie.
Arnie, my cat, was with me earthside through many of life’s ups and downs — he was my absolute best friend, my truest, most loyal companion. The sun rose and set on him in my house. But when he was only 11, he got a devastating cancer diagnosis, and when that happened, I just kind of spiraled.
I didn’t know how I could survive living in a world without him. Fortunately for me, I found an incredible pet loss grief counselor myself. I started doing anticipatory grief work with her, and I found it deeply transformative. She really helped me understand why I was feeling so intensely, and most importantly, helped me step up so I could really show up for Arnie in his time of need.
Chemotherapy worked for Arnie at first, and he went into remission, but I kept feeling a lot of anxiety around his illness, so I kept working with my counselor. At the same time, I had the opportunity to help support somebody in a waiting room at a veterinary clinic. While waiting on an appointment for Arnie, there was a woman in the waiting room whose cat had ingested some lilies — which are very toxic to cats —and she didn’t have anyone with her to support her.
I started talking to her and ended up staying with her the whole day, supporting her and helping her through her cat’s euthanasia. That was the moment when I realized that I had a calling. I had a very clear realization that this was what I wanted to do with my life.
At the time, I was working as a Hollywood executive in film and television development, so I thought this would be something I could do when I retired or maybe as a side hustle at some point.
Unfortunately, just a few months after that first realization, Arnie had a new symptom, and when I took him to the vet, we discovered that he had developed a completely different aggressive cancer in a very short amount of time. There was nothing we could do, so we had to make the really difficult decision to compassionately euthanize him, and I felt completely blindsided.
It was then that I thought, ‘Arnie, what are we waiting for? Let’s go help people through this.’ I knew I needed to grieve and process what had happened, but I viewed Arnie’s transition as my sign to go out and support other people who are experiencing this same pain, so I could help empower, educate, and nurture grieving animal guardians everywhere.
So, I completed my certifications to become a counselor and opened my private practice, where I support individuals, couples, and families in their grief. I started my Instagram, which has been a real success, and then started writing my book, “Honoring Our Animals,” and things have really rolled from there.
It wasn’t full-time work in the beginning, but it grew very quickly. Between grief groups and smaller sessions, I see anywhere from 30 to 60 clients a week in online appointments, and I’ve helped over 1,000 clients since I began. Things are so busy that I’m bringing on two additional practitioners that I’ve been training, so that people can also have more options about who they work with.
The nice thing about my career now is that I work for myself. I’m my own boss, so it’s up to me how much I want to work, which determines how much money I can make. When I worked in Hollywood, even though I loved it, I primarily worked for other people, so I was limited in my ability to do that and control my money.
Very few people do this kind of work. It’s extremely niche, and some people really don’t understand it, but pet loss is ubiquitous. While I really appreciate everything I did earlier in my career, and I had a great time doing it, I can see that change is happening because of this new work. People are starting to look at pet loss more seriously, and it feels nice to be making a positive change in the world.
I believe pet loss grief is a transformative experience. We go through a seismic shift when our soulmates transition, and we are not the same afterward. We cannot be, and there is no “return to normal.” So many people I work with really struggle with that, like “Who am I now?” I know I did.
If I hadn’t loved Arnie so deeply and been so profoundly shaken by his loss, I don’t believe I would have ever discovered this work. Now, I encourage anybody who’s thinking about shifting their gears and changing careers, or just people who are grieving, to embrace the idea that you can make a change. You don’t have to stay doing what you’re doing, and you don’t have to return to who you were before.
I just want to write that permission slip for people. If they’re feeling a desire to make a change, my goal is really to empower people to let that be OK. You can let your grief catalyze you into something different. I did, and it changed my life.
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