When my husband and I decided to have a fourth child just before I turned 40 and he turned 43, we knew we had more love to give. Plus, we wanted to give our other children the gift of another sibling. At the time, I was excited about growing our family, although I knew it would be chaotic and a different experience than when I had my first when I was much younger.
Now, eleven years later, I am faced with a reality that comes with being an older mom: I am in a race against time.
The years are passing quickly
I used to laugh at the thought of being nearly 60 at my son’s high school graduation. However, as the years slip by too quickly, I realize that my time with my son will be heartbreakingly short. I no longer brush aside the thought of how old I will be while he is still relatively young. Instead, I feel as though I am racing against a clock, trying to make up for time I know will be lost as my son and I both get older.
I am acutely aware that the time my husband and I have to have adventures without our youngest and make memories that will stick with him is limited. Although I hope to be healthy and spry for many more years, the reality is that I need to focus on the here and now because the future is uncertain. Even with the best possible outcome, there will be fewer tomorrows than I would like.
Seeing a World Cup match was a chance to give my son an experience he will never forget
Although I have never been into sports, my son loves soccer. He taught me to derive a lot of joy from watching him play, cheering for his favorite club, Real Madrid, and seeing our local team, DC United, in action.
It was hard to figure out how to make his dreams of seeing a World Cup match come true until Visit Sugar Land, the tourism bureau of Sugar Land, Texas, just outside of Houston, invited us to see a match. The entire day exceeded all of our expectations, and I walked out of the stadium knowing that my son had an experience he will never forget.
After the match, I called my husband to tell him that there was nothing like being at the World Cup in person, watching our soccer-fanatic son drink in every moment, sharing the drama of every moment. “I wish you could have been there, too,” I told him. “I wish all of us could see a match together.”
Racing against time sometimes means splurging
I checked the calendar to see if my husband and I could take our son to another game during our packed summer. There was one match in my hometown of Philadelphia that was feasible. It wasn’t cheap or something we had budgeted for, but it was only a three-hour drive away, and we could stay with family to keep costs down. I started asking friends for advice. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” said one. “When will the World Cup be in the United States again?” asked another. “My husband’s best childhood memories are going to the World Cup with his Dad,” another friend told me. “That’s why he still loves soccer and watches with our girls,” she explained.
I was still on the fence because of the cost, but decided to go into planning mode in earnest. When I saw tickets pop up during FIFA’s last-minute ticket sale, I panic-bought three seats, paying more than double what I expected. I also got access to a hospitality suite, which I knew would make the game extra special. After I hit buy, I had a twinge of regret. However, I reminded myself that as an older parent, it’s important to ensure my family has incredible experiences now, while we can. Sometimes that means dipping into savings or going out without other material things.
Having incredible experiences with my kids while I can is always worth the trade-off
Having incredible experiences with my kids is always worth the time, energy, and investment. Seeing the World Cup in Philadelphia was no exception. My heart was full as I watched my husband and son enjoy the day. Getting to be by my son’s side as he smiled and screamed, fully in his element, was worth the splurge.
Thanks to our access to a hospitality suite, we got to hold a match ball and pose with the World Cup trophy, making the day even more special. “Messi touched this,” my son said as he posed for a photo. “I hope Christiano Rolandlo gets it this year,” he added, emphasizing his loyalty to his Portuguese mom. Plus, having access to an air-conditioned lounge with easy access to ice-cold drinks turned out to be nicer than I anticipated, since the game we saw was one of the hottest in World Cup history.
I know that my son will carry the memories of the World Cup game he witnessed with his Dad and me long after we are gone. I hope his memories of the day will forever make him smile as much as he did on the day of the match, and that is priceless.
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