I relocated to the Netherlands with my kids two years ago and have since helped many Americans call new countries home.
Typically, I talk to two types of people considering a move abroad.
The first type has been “planning to move” for years. They’ve watched every YouTube video, joined multiple expat Facebook groups, and can recite visa requirements in their sleep.
However, they’re still in the same place they were two years ago, just with more bookmarked articles.
The second type? They’re booking their flights.
After relocating my own family from Atlanta to Utrecht, Netherlands, in 2024 and now guiding other American families through the process with my own company, I’ve identified exactly what separates the dreamers from the doers.
It’s not money, time, or even circumstances. Rather, it’s a specific set of actions and mindset shifts that turn “someday” into “moving day.”
Here are some of my best tips, and a look at what the families who actually make relocation happen do differently.
Get brutally honest about your ‘why’
Many families I work with feel guilty for wanting to leave the country they grew up in. However, the ones who make the move happen truly believe they deserve to find a home that better aligns with their values and needs.
Before researching visa requirements or housing costs abroad, it’s important to understand what you’re running toward, not just what you’re running from.
Maybe you feel high healthcare costs and a poor work-life balance are pushing you out of the US, but what is pulling you forward? And to where?
For our family, a general desire to feel safer was our biggest priority when deciding to move to the Netherlands.
We wanted to live in a country with less gun violence, one where my kids would no longer have frequent active shooter drills at school. We also wanted to be surrounded by diversity in terms of race, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. And we wanted to be able to travel across Europe easily to experience new cultures and raise global citizens.
This clarity helped us make decisions, and our “why” kept us moving forward whenever things got hard (and they sure did).
Paint a vivid picture of your new daily life
The families stuck in perpetual research mode can tell me everything about Portuguese visa requirements, but can’t describe what their Tuesday morning might look like once they’re in Lisbon.
Logistics are really important. However, I’ve found the families who actually move have already lived their new life a thousand times in their minds.
Spend time imagining the details of the day-to-day living in your future home: What does your morning routine look like? How will you spend weekends?
Although sometimes a bit idealistic, these pictures can be motivating and better help you determine whether the place you have in mind could truly be the right fit for your family.
For example, I visualized our Utrecht life for months before moving, from the afternoon bike rides along canals to morning strolls to the local bakery. These visions helped pull us through every difficult moment once we arrived.
Set a non-negotiable timeline
I’ve found that families without firm timelines are still “planning” three years after they first decided to move abroad. Meanwhile, the ones with non-negotiable move dates are often unpacking boxes within 12 months.
When you commit to “we’re moving by September 2026” instead of “someday,” your brain can shift from just consuming information to actually making decisions with it.
When you have a date set, you’ll be able to build a timeline, figure out when to put your house on the market, and even book flights and temporary accommodations abroad.
Deadlines aren’t about pressure; they’re about giving yourself permission to stop researching and start doing.
Invest in expert guidance early on
There’s a reason I started offering expat relocation services in the first place. I’ve found that families thriving abroad are those who have built support systems early in the process, rather than waiting until they’re drowning to seek out help.
DIY-ing your entire relocation plan might save money upfront, but it may cost you months of spinning your wheels and thousands in avoidable mistakes.
I’ve watched families waste six months researching schools online when one conversation with someone who’s navigated the process would have given them clarity in an hour.
Whether it’s hiring a relocation coach or working with immigration attorneys, build your team before you desperately need them.
Accept imperfect action over perfect planning
Families stuck in research mode are waiting for certainty that will never come. They want every question answered before they commit.
But here’s reality: You make the decision, take imperfect action, and figure out the rest as you go.
The families who successfully relocate aren’t the ones who had everything figured out — they’re the ones who moved forward despite uncertainty.
Sure, moving to the Netherlands after becoming fluent in Dutch would’ve been nice. Post-relocation, my son struggled for months at his Dutch school, and I had to ask my neighbors to help me translate important tax-related calls.
Almost two years into our Dutch life, though, the logistics have sorted themselves out. What matters most is that we’re here, and it’s because we decided to stop researching and start building the life we wanted.
Everything else? We figured it out along the way.
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