This story is based on an interview with full-time caregiver Deaundra Vega, 52, of Colorado Springs. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I met my future husband, Jesse, online in 2022, but we quickly established that I already knew members of his family.
We went on a few dates, and he told me that he’d been forced to medically retire as an audiovisual engineer with the Department of Defense.
I wondered whether I could be with someone with a health condition
He had severe epilepsy — having dozens of seizures every day — and had a major episode when we were out together.
Luckily, his brother was on hand and took care of him, but it was a scary experience. I was shaken and wondered whether I could be with someone with a health condition like that.
I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. “You know what?” I thought. “What if I had something wrong with me? How would you feel if someone were so judgmental?”
I decided to find out as much as I could about epilepsy. I educated myself because I wanted to be as helpful to him as his brother.
One day, Jesse had a serious episode, and I found him with a huge bruise across his face. He’d hurt himself really badly, and it struck me that he needed someone to care for him 24/7.
The doctor agreed. He said he couldn’t be left alone. The situation was particularly challenging because he was allergic to the conventional medication used to treat epilepsy.
He couldn’t even shower himself without supervision. However, there was no way he could afford full-time carers.
I’m a giver, and I realized that I wanted to be with Jesse for the rest of my life. I didn’t want him to be taken from me. If it meant giving up my job in medical billing, so be it.
Money was tight
I quit a few months after our wedding in October 2023. The final straw was a spell in the ICU following another severe episode.
The hospital staff taught me how to care for him. We spent the following two-and-a-half years struggling to get by financially and emotionally.
Money was tight because of the income cut. We didn’t qualify for anything more than Jesse’s Medicaid payment.
We downsized to a smaller property and tried to be as frugal as possible, searching the shelves for the cheapest groceries.
Then, in January 2026, we learned about a new, little-known program in Colorado called Community First Services and Supports (CFSS), which helps people who need long-term care stay in their homes.
We signed up with a platform called Abby Care. It provides formal training to family members, helping them qualify as professional carers and be paid for their services through Medicaid.
I feel more confident now
The wages range from $15 to $ 27 an hour, depending on the type of care and required certifications.
I completed courses including first aid, food hygiene, and medication awareness. One of the most important skills was learning to handle a gait belt, a safety device that helps protect Jesse from falls.
As a personal care assistant, I feel so much more confident in managing my husband’s needs. The salary has helped us out of a financial rut.
Meanwhile, Jesse has started a new drug that better controls his seizures. We’re looking forward to a brighter, safer future together.
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