This essay is part of The New American Home, a series that examines multigenerational houses.
After 13 years of marriage, I became a single mom of my two young kids. I knew my life was about to change after my divorce in 2024, but I didn’t fully grasp how quickly and dramatically it would shift.
Our family home was in East Hampton, New York, but it wasn’t technically mine. I had been with my husband since I was 18, after moving from my childhood home in Connecticut to his residence.
The house was a premarital asset. That meant when the marriage ended in 2024, so did my ability to stay. I was immediately faced with the logistical reality of starting over in one of the most expensive clusters of zip codes in the nation.
I had to quickly find a new home for myself and my kids, who are 12 and 8 — fast. It only got more complicated when my parents needed to move in, too.
I started looking for a home with strict financial guardrails
I began searching for a new rental house in 2025 with the help of my business partner, who had experience renting in the Hamptons.
As a newly single parent in my late 30s and business owner in the event planning industry with fluctuating income, I needed clarity around what I could truly afford. I created strict parameters.
I needed at least three bedrooms: one for me, one for my two children, and one flexible room for guests or workspace. I was looking for a maximum monthly payment of $4,500, plus utilities and extras, that I could comfortably carry on my own without stress. I also wanted reasonable square footage and a great location.
I sat with my business partner at a park in East Hampton and started combing through my phone for reliable people who either had or knew someone renting their home in the Hamptons offseason.
By some miracle, I found a friend who was renting their home in the Hamptons and secured a monthly rent within my parameters.
I visited the home that same day, and was sold instantly: kitchen, living room, dining area, three bedrooms, including a gym and sauna.
And, the 2,200 square feet home was within easy walking distance of the village.
My parents moving in temporarily wasn’t part of the plan
My car suddenly gave out due to a mechanical failure. It was a total loss. The repair costs didn’t make sense relative to the value. Suddenly, I was in a new home without reliable transportation for my kids and me.
I needed help with basic needs like grocery shopping, general errands, and ensuring my children got to and from their after-school activities.
That’s when my parents stepped in, sparking the beginning of our multigenerational household — just under three months after I moved in. At 80 and 74, they offered to live with us for long stretches while keeping their home in Connecticut.
The arrangement was originally meant to be temporary. I figured it would be a way to stabilize my new single-mom life while I settle into my new home. And living under one roof with three generations has forced us to reorganize our way of living.
Three generations under one roof means three different ways of living
My parents spend on average 10 days a month living with me.
From the onset, there’s been little friction. Luckily, we organically created boundaries as needed. Even in common spaces like the kitchen, pantry, and refrigerator.
My parents have their own section of the home that feels autonomous, including the secondary bedroom and living room. Though the living room is communal, my parents use it most.
The third bedroom is mine and multifunctional. I turned it into a gym and a dedicated workspace. There’s also a bed for me to sleep on, but sometimes, I sleep in the living room when my parents aren’t using it.
The shared spaces are the kitchen and dining area, which have become our cooperative spaces. Dinners are more lively and fun.
My children have gained more consistent access to my parents, their grandparents. I have regular emotional backup for those difficult conversations and the challenges that arose because of the divorce.
Having my parents around also helps me financially because they help me make smart money decisions, like which car insurance to purchase. They also help out with gas and groceries.
It also reshaped how I think about ‘home’
Before my parents moved in with me, home was tied to marriage, to partnership, and to a version of stability that I assumed would last, even perhaps if our marriage did not.
Now, home feels more intentional. Living with my parents during this season of life has shown me that independence does not necessarily mean confinement. Support systems can be strategic. Multigenerational living isn’t necessarily a step backward.
Do I see this living arrangement as permanent? No. Will my parents move in with me later in life? Perhaps. That’s now part of the long-term conversation, since we’ve already seen that we can function together — imperfectly, in a loving way.
Divorce forced me into a new chapter, but having my parents around gives my children consistency and my parents a greater sense of purpose. It’s also given me the opportunity to regroup and rebuild financially.
Read the full article here
