“I forgot your sister asleep in the car,” I shouted to my 6-year-old son as I bolted from the tennis court and waded through the intense heat to retrieve my toddler. It’d only been 2 minutes, but I nearly hyperventilated, fearing the worst.
“Mama?” My daughter’s eyes fluttered as I unbuckled her five-point harness. When she smiled up at me, relief overtook my body as I shook.
Rattled, I begged my doctor for cognitive testing, convinced I had early-onset Alzheimer’s. When my assessments were negative, the doctors cited possible ADHD focus issues, perimenopausal brain fog, and my brain’s autopilot function as potential culprits. Despite these explanations, I was left with the unshakeable dread that my mind wasn’t as sharp as it had been and would only get worse. I knew I had to be proactive.
We all make mistakes
That toddler is now 12. Although the car flashback haunts me, I’m grateful nothing as scary has happened since, and I’ve accepted that moms can’t be perfect. I’ve even formed a successful comedy show, The Mom Coms, that pokes fun at the anxiety-inducing parenting moments every parent faces. But that doesn’t change the fact that over the years, I’ve forgotten each of my three kids at school at one time or another.
A few months ago, I cringed when I ran into an acquaintance at the supermarket because my mental rustiness made me forget her name. I imagined getting on stage and standing with my mouth hanging open, unable to recall my set. That’s when my inner control freak coached me to escalate from playing “The New York Times'” Spelling Bee game to more intricate brain challenges on my phone whenever I had some spare time.
I’m after an extra boost
Over the past few months, I’ve also delved into multiple brain-boosting activities. After reading a PNAS study suggesting that musical rhythm training can improve face memory by facilitating how the brain encodes and maintains memories, I was intrigued by my son’s drum set. His music teacher concurred, telling me that gray matter volume is highest in professional musicians and lowest in non-musicians. He suggested that during football season, when my son was on a drum lesson break, I fill in for him to see if I enjoy the instrument.
“Sign me up!” I said.
Bass, snare, bass, bass. It wasn’t easy executing the complicated combinations that my son made look simple. But I savored the feeling of pounding out a paradiddle as the offbeat undulated through me. I enjoyed learning so much that I continued drum lessons even after my son resumed. Although my son hasn’t realized it yet, drumming is also a great bonding experience we’ll share forever.
Heel, brush, toe, heel. Drumming led me to remember a tap dancing combination, also called a paradiddle, that I had adored in childhood class. Since dance is associated with a reduced risk of dementia, I enrolled in an adult tap class to syncopate my brain (and body, since it is strenuous exercise) back to a youthful state. I’m enrolled through June, when I’ll exhibit my moves and stellar memory in the recital.
So far, rediscovering this former passion has rekindled something inside me. Whether it’s the nostalgia that surfaces or the feeling of my body moving, tap provides me with a dopamine hit each Thursday morning, and I’m really enjoying it
I’m saying yes to a lot of things
A few weeks ago, my best friend asked me to learn Canasta with her, and I was hesitant. Numbers had never been my thing; besides, my calendar was full with drums and tap. But, I acquiesced, for no other reason than it’s social, and studies claim that social stimulation is brain-boosting.
Learning canasta wasn’t joyful at first; in fact, I would’ve ditched it if I hadn’t spent a decent chunk of money on classes. But I stuck with it, scaled the hump, and now I’m appreciating the competitive challenge. I’ve committed to playing twice a month through the summer, then I’ll reassess, even if I’m compelled to host games.
While there is still more research to be done on brain health, and we ultimately can’t control our destiny, I’ll continue to approach these activities with gratitude for the physical and financial ability I have to afford me the opportunities, and as a necessity, to be in tip-top condition on stage.
Plus, I want to meet my future grandchildren so we can shuffle, ball, change together, and so that I’ll be nimble enough to whoop them in canasta. Until then, I’m doing whatever I can to stay sharp and have some fun, making folks laugh with my comedy along the way.
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