On a recent family vacation my daughter bobbed in the pool next to me, delighted in her new-found ability to swim without a safety jacket.
“Pretend you are a zoo-keeper and I am a lion which keeps escaping,” she instructed me.
I agreed and swam after her as she paddled off, whilst roaring. Once that game had finished, she said, “Now I will play with my imaginary friends.”
“That’s nice, what are their names?” I asked, pleased that she was able to play by herself at only 4 years old.
“Rosie and Instagram,” she replied before splashing off.
I nearly inhaled pool water in shock, torn between horrified laughter and plain horror.
This moment made me take a step back
Surely I hadn’t been on social media so much around my children that Instagram had become part of their lexicon. Right?
But from that moment on in what should have been our perfect Thai holiday, ‘Instagram’ was a firm favorite among my daughter’s imaginary friends. Meanwhile, I tasked myself with trying to play down my social media habit.
Hoping it wouldn’t show me a poor result, I looked at the screen time tracker on my phone. I was shocked when it said I picked up my phone on average 176 times a day.
When I thought about it, how could that not be affecting my children?
I did some quick math and worked out that if I was awake for 24 hours a day, then I’d pick up my phone roughly seven times an hour. If I used my phone for roughly 14 hours a day, probably more realistic, then I’d reach for my phone 12 times an hour, or once every five minutes or so.
I was horrified to realize that I couldn’t go longer without a phone fix. No wonder my child was so au fait with social media. It’s probably from the hundreds of times I’d pointed my phone camera at her while saying, “I just want a nice picture for Instagram.”
She doesn’t even totally know get Instagram is
When I asked my daughter what she thought Instagram was, she said, “Where you buy things from.”
I was somewhat relieved she doesn’t realize it’s a photo-sharing site where I, and other users, curate our photos into a perfect holiday highlights. Although, I am concerned that she clearly thinks I spend a large portion of the day shopping on my phone.
I can’t work out which is better.
Scaling back took practice
After this wake-up call, I tried really hard to stop picking up my phone so much and be a much more present parent.
Sometimes it worked. I’d leave my phone in the hotel room or on the sun lounger and play for much longer periods of time in the pool with my children, determined not to be distracted by the allure of who was doing what online.
Sometimes I cracked and just wanted five minutes where I didn’t have to think about who needed to use the restroom or if we’ve had enough snacks or suncream with us. Then I’d retreat into my little online world, focusing on the tiny screen in front of me instead of the truly breathtaking surroundings we were in.
I also tried to limit the number of times I attempted to take a sweet photo of my children against the stunning backdrops of Thai beaches and sunsets. It was surprisingly difficult to detach from my phone.
After all, if a sunset goes un-Instagrammed, did the sun really set?
But by the end of the holiday we’d reached more of an equilibrium. I hadn’t banned my phone entirely, I couldn’t. However I was much more aware of when I was using it and trying to restrict that.
As a parent you never want to think of yourself as distant, but I knew there was room for improvement, which I’m trying to instill in every day life now.
It just took my daughter naming her imaginary friend ‘Instagram’ for me to tackle it head on.
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