In the summer of 2024, my husband and I bought our dream house in a small town in Maryland.
We knew virtually no one in our new town, but at the time, that didn’t matter to us. It had everything we wanted: brand-new construction, around our budget, and it was just minutes from two different beaches.
At the time, I was 33, my husband was 35, and after 10 years together in New York City, it felt like the right time for a change. After all, weren’t adults supposed to buy a house and settle down at some point? Little did we know how hard that change would be for us.
We didn’t realize what we’d be giving up
The number one thing I hear people in New York say when asked why they stay is “all my friends are here.” We didn’t take that to heart.
What we didn’t realize was just how hard it would be to find our people in our new town. Our politics didn’t align with most of our neighbors, and finding new friends felt like searching for a needle in a haystack, literally, since we lived in a rural area, much different from what we had been accustomed to.
My husband and I are self-admitted introverts, but what we didn’t truly understand until we left a city is that we thrive when we are surrounded by life. I love nothing more than sitting on a balcony and reading a book while jazz music wafts up from the bar below, doors slam, people laugh, and dogs bark.
My mom always told me that when you’re buying a house, it comes down to location, location, location. She was right. The beach was close and beautiful, but we still felt completely isolated. We missed our friends, our active social life, the ability to walk or take a train anywhere we needed to go, and, generally, living in a city that felt alive year-round.
A rule change made the decision for us
About a year in, we knew we had to go. We were unhappy and felt burdened by the cost of our mortgage, which was around $3,400 each month, plus everything else that went into maintaining a large house.
Then, our HOA decided to ban short-term rentals in the neighborhood. That had been one of the main reasons we bought the house in the first place. Since we both work remotely, we’d planned to travel and use the short-term rental income to help cover costs while we were away. Without that option, the house no longer made sense for the life we wanted to live.
We sold without a plan, and we don’t regret it
After nearly two years in a small town, we were itching to travel and get back to a walkable city. We knew we were lucky to both work from home, and we didn’t know how long that flexibility would last, so instead of buying again right away (or even committing to a year-long rental), we decided to sell without making a plan to settle down.
We packed almost everything we owned into a storage unit and booked a furnished short-term rental for a few months in Durham, North Carolina, where my husband grew up. It was so nice to be close to his family and friends and spend the beginning of the summer season with them. We spent August in Seattle, hiking, whale watching, enjoying the low humidity, and exploring a city we’d never been to. Now we’ve landed in Philadelphia for a few months, which is close enough to New York for easy day trips.
Most of our friends are settling down right now, buying houses, having kids, adopting dogs, doing all of the things you’re “supposed” to do in your mid-30s. We’re doing exactly the opposite, and I feel completely free.
The math didn’t favor us, but we’d do it again
There’s a general rule of thumb that you should hold onto a house for at least five years before selling, to come out ahead. We sold in under two, and after closing costs and everything else, we were lucky to basically break even.
We know it wasn’t the conventional path, financially or otherwise, but we also know that it was the right decision for us. You can’t put a price on happiness, and buying and selling this house in under two years taught us so many lessons about what we value and where we want to be, even if that means living out of a suitcase and only staying in one place for a few months at a time.
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