This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Heather Waughtel, 47, a project coordinator based in Knoxville, Tennessee. Business Insider has verified her income and her dad’s funeral costs. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Before my dad died, I felt we had been responsible by discussing things like finances and the power of attorney. Dad had life insurance and said the cremation would be covered.

I soon learned that when a loved one dies in the US, you must deal with financial and legal questions while in the rawest stage of grief.

Did you take on debt or make major financial sacrifices after losing a loved one? Business…