When we moved to California at the start of my oldest child’s kindergarten year, I figured volunteering at school would be an easy way to meet people and get to know our new school. I was right — and then some.
Pretty much every year for the next 12 years, I was a room parent for one or more classes. I photographed the yearbook, was a Girl Scout leader, organized teacher appreciation events, and became the parent you could count on when someone needed to send an email, make a sign-up sheet, or figure out how to get 30 kids to participate in something.
My husband rarely volunteered beyond grilling burgers at the annual carnival, which was more of a dad hangout than a traditional volunteer gig.
I genuinely enjoyed my volunteer experiences. Volunteering gave me a community in a place where we were new, and it helped me feel connected to what my kids were doing at school. But by the time my youngest headed to high school, I was ready for a break.
After more than a decade of volunteering, I was ready to step back and reclaim some of my time. With all three kids in high school, I figured our days of volunteering at school were mostly behind us. I certainly didn’t expect my husband to jump in and become the family volunteer.
My husband found his own way to volunteer
Instead of our family stepping back, my husband stepped up.
And the funny thing is that I didn’t ask him to. We never had a conversation where I handed him a list of volunteer responsibilities or suggested it was his turn. He simply found opportunities that interested him and started getting involved.
He took over organizing the school’s FFA garden project, including sales where students sold their tomato and pepper seedlings to community members. He also became even more involved with the 4-H poultry project my kids had participated in since they were little, with our kids eventually serving as teen leaders themselves.
High school changed what volunteering could look like
Watching my husband get involved taught me something I hadn’t really considered when I was the parent doing all the volunteering: there isn’t one right way to show up for your kids’ school or community.
Elementary school volunteering often meant being physically present at school during typical working hours. High school offered different opportunities, ones that relied more on mentoring, practical skills, and giving teenagers room to take responsibility.
And because our kids were involved, my husband’s volunteering gave him a different kind of connection with them. He wasn’t hovering over their schoolwork or chaperoning a field trip. He helped create opportunities for them to take on leadership roles themselves.
After 12 years of being the parent who always raised her hand, it was surprisingly nice to put my hand down. Even better, I discovered that I didn’t have to worry about the volunteer role disappearing when I stepped away.
My husband was ready to pick it up — and make it his own.
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