After spending two months traveling alone through Thailand and Vietnam in early 2024, I went to Japan to meet a friend. I was excited, but within days, traveling with someone else felt more stressful than being on my own.
For months, I’d made every decision myself: when to wake up, where to eat, and how to spend the day. I could change plans on a whim. Suddenly, every choice involved another person.
After months of solo travel, apparently, I’d become terrible at compromising.
Just a few months earlier, I’d been laid off from a job that hadn’t made me happy for some time. I’d wanted to quit after a year and spend months traveling around Asia; losing my job simply sped up that plan.
Within four months, I sold my furniture, found someone to take over my lease, and boarded a one-way flight to South Korea in April 2024, unsure when I would return home.
I’d traveled alone before, but never for this long. I’d never felt I had to wait for someone else to see the places on my bucket list. And, for the first time, I wasn’t squeezing travel into PTO or college breaks, or planning a short trip around friends’ schedules. I had months ahead of me — and no one else’s timetable to consider.
At first, I was nervous about traveling alone
I could wake up without a packed itinerary, stay longer when I loved a place, or rearrange my plans without consulting anyone. If I wanted pad see ew from the same Bangkok restaurant every day, I could. If I wanted to spend hours at the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh City, I didn’t have to worry about someone else being ready to leave. And when I met a great group of people at a hostel in Ninh Binh, I simply changed my schedule.
I didn’t realize how normal that freedom had become until I met my friend to travel in Japan.
We had a great trip, but our travel styles didn’t always align. I preferred social hostels; she was more comfortable in hotels. I could have happily eaten wagyu every night, while she — reasonably — suggested breaks from that much meat. She was right. It was just so delicious.
These compromises weren’t necessarily earth-shattering, but after two months of making every decision entirely on my own, I was surprised by how much of an adjustment it was to factor someone else into my plans again.
A pattern emerged
Despite being an anxious person, I often found solo travel less stressful. When I was alone, I could prioritize what I wanted to do without wondering whether someone else was having a good time. Traveling with other people, I tended to overthink their experience as much as my own.
I was constantly asking myself: Are they only doing this because I wanted to? What if they’re annoyed that I want to go back to the hotel and rest? Am I being good company?
Those questions disappeared when I was by myself. If I was tired, I could return to my hostel for a quick nap. If I wasn’t enjoying an activity I’d signed up for, I could leave. When the decisions affected only me, the stakes felt much smaller.
Solo travel has become more than evading compromise
Years of solo travel have taught me to trust my abilities and instincts. It has taught me to act quickly and deal with problems as they arise.
When I forgot my International Driving Permit and couldn’t rent a car in Italy, I came up with a Plan B and was on a train an hour later. Years earlier, a disruption like that would have sent me into full panic mode.
Solo travel has also made me more decisive and more comfortable with my own company. Because I live with anxiety, I’m prone to overthinking and second-guessing myself. But when I’m the one calling all the shots, agonizing over every option starts to feel like a waste of time.
Before I spent eight months traveling through Asia, being alone often meant letting my thoughts spiral. Along the way, solitude stopped feeling like a void that needed to be filled. Eating alone, wandering a city for hours, or spending an evening by myself became things I genuinely enjoyed.
I still love traveling with others
None of this means I don’t look forward to trips with people I love. There’s something special about reminiscing with someone years later about a place you experienced together.
For someone with anxiety, traveling alone might seem like the most stressful option — but after years of independent travel, I beg to differ.
Learning to trust myself and enjoy my own company has given me unexpected confidence I never thought I could gain from traveling alone. Sometimes, only having myself to consider is exactly what takes the pressure off.
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