One of the first things I did when I got pregnant with my daughter was put her on every daycare waitlist I could find.
Daycares in Vancouver are extremely competitive — many have waitlists of a couple of years, and some have waitlists of four years or more. And if you do manage to get a spot, it can be very expensive, since only a few daycares receive government subsidies.
So my husband and I crossed our fingers as we put ourselves on waitlists, but we knew we’d need a backup childcare plan.
I work for myself and from home, so my working hours are very flexible. But I still need time away from our now 15-month-old to actually get my work done. Thankfully, our moms came to the rescue.
My mom and my mother-in-law help with childcare one morning a week
On Wednesday mornings, my mother-in-law picks up our daughter and takes her to the local community center, where there is drop-in playtime. They spend the morning there, go for a walk if the weather is nice, and then come home to meet me for lunch.
My mom does the same thing on Friday mornings, sometimes stopping at the playground on the way back home. Both grandmothers are responsible for snacktime and diaper changes.
During these mornings, I head out to a coffee shop to get an hour or two of work in. I sneak in a dog walk and sometimes do household tasks that are harder with a toddler running around, like unloading the dishwasher or meal prep.
When I don’t have childcare help, I’m in full-time mom mode
In the afternoons and on mornings when my mom and mother-in-law aren’t with us, I’m solely responsible for childcare. Any work I need to do has to wait.
I’ll head out with my daughter to the community center or library, sometimes running errands on the way. We’ll come home for lunch, and in the afternoon, we’ll walk the dog together with a stop at the playground.
My only time to do work is while she’s napping. This gives me about 90 minutes to do as much work as I can, though I often use part of that time for other important things, like taking a shower.
I love our system, but there are things I wish I could change
I’m so grateful to my mom and mother-in-law for helping us out with childcare. And they do it for free, which we really appreciate!
Having a few hours to get my work done without interruption is so valuable. I feel so much more energized coming back to my daughter when I’ve had a few hours to focus on non-childcare tasks.
I also love that our daughter gets some one-on-one time with her grandmothers. It’s been really special to watch them bond and see the photos and videos they take of their time together.
Of course, there have been some hiccups. There was a bit of a learning curve to teach our moms how we do things. And I feel pressure to have our house in order when they arrive.
There are some weeks coming up when our moms aren’t available to help or need to switch their childcare days. While it’s not common that something like that happens, it’s different from the consistent schedule we would have with a daycare.
I still wish we had more childcare support. Having two to three hours of childcare twice a week isn’t enough time for me to get all of my work done. When my husband is off work, he encourages me to take some time for myself, though it still feels like the to-do list is endless.
But until we’re able to bring in more support, I’m happy with our childcare system. I appreciate our moms so much for helping us out. And as much as I wish I had more time to work, I love that I have the flexibility to spend so much time with my daughter.
I know we’re so lucky to have free childcare, even if it’s limited. One of the best parts of not getting a daycare spot is all of this extra bonding time between my daughter and her grandmothers.
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