About three years ago, our family left Southern California. The decision was not made lightly.
It’s where I grew up, and we’d spent years happily raising our family there. We had a great community and liked our kids’ schools — we only began thinking about leaving once my husband had to start commuting to downtown Los Angeles for work.
It wasn’t easy, and the appeal of a lower-cost, slower-paced life began to grow. We set our sights on Tennessee, where a lot of my husband’s family lives.
We believed the pros of the move would outweigh the cons. On paper, it looked like we’d get easy access to family, deal with less traffic, and save money — the state is generally considered a cheaper place to live than California.
After months of building up the courage to take the leap, we moved.
Once we settled in, though, we realized we were facing a few of the same challenges, only in a different ZIP code. Now, we’re strongly considering moving back to the West Coast.
The financial benefits of the move weren’t as impactful as we expected
House hunting was our first sign that moving to Tennessee might not be the cost-saving solution we hoped it’d be.
Though the average home in Tennessee costs less than half the average home in California, these are abstract data points that don’t consider areas where our family wants to live and what we actually need in a home.
In our experience, the housing market in the greater Nashville area didn’t feel much different from our previous area in California. Generally, the house prices were about the same in the most desirable areas with the standard conveniences.
In order to have the move “make sense” and get a home we still liked within our budget, we looked further and further outside the city.
Eventually, we closed on a house about 20 miles north of Nashville near the southern Kentucky border. Unfortunately, in our more rural area, there’s not much to do or many shopping options. Traveling frequently is a must.
Having to go a few extra miles for school or our favorite stores didn’t sound so terrible because we assumed we wouldn’t have to deal with much traffic.
However, from week one until we pulled him out, we sat in a one-hour commute of gridlock traffic just to drop my son off at his school. For us, this was another reality check.
Traffic was still a major issue due to the growing local population and the underdeveloped infrastructure. Sure, gas is cheaper — close to $3 a gallon instead of over $4 — but when we’re driving more and sitting in traffic, we’re filling up the tank more often.
All in all, we spend about the same amount on gas as we did in California.
My husband took a pay cut — and we’ve run into unexpected expenses
Oftentimes, relocating from a high-cost-of-living area to a lower one can mean taking a pay cut (depending on the job and industry). I was fortunate to keep my part-time job in California and just work remotely, so my pay said the same.
However, my husband is in nurse management, and the pay differential is less than a floor nurse in California. Though there’s no individual income tax here, Tennessee still has some catching up to do with market increases.
On top of that, one of the most unexpected day-to-day costs we’ve encountered since the move is the grocery tax. Tennessee is one of the few states that adds it to all food bills.
Grocery items are taxed at 4% state plus local tax. In our county, we pay a 6% total added tax on our groceries — we could definitely see the difference on the receipts.
Given our more rural area, we don’t have as many options for shopping around for lower prices, either.
A lot of this move didn’t go how we expected, but we’ve learned so much
Aside from saving money and slowing down, part of our decision to move was to be closer to family and tap into that support system.
However, most of them live about an hour away, making it difficult to connect regularly. All the driving we do during the week and the extra traveling on the weekends can leave us feeling burned out.
Saving money was also a huge point on our “pro” list for moving, but living here hasn’t been nearly as affordable as we’d hoped.
Honestly, it took a few months into our move to Tennessee to realize that our life was actually going quite well in California.
Our pace of living wasn’t so bad considering we didn’t need to drive so much on a daily basis and had so many friends nearby. We were financially stable enough and living a good-quality life with a strong community around us.
No place is perfect. But for us, the experience taught us that financial peace isn’t just about numbers — it’s about fit. In the long term, it’s important to consider quality of life over just dollars.
For our family, we now know where we fit best. As we explore a move back West, we practice contentment and gratitude for the present, but look forward to a future back home.
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