While raising my kids in Chicago, I saw a recurring pattern. A neighbor would welcome a second child, or a friend’s oldest would be ready for middle school. Suddenly, the city wasn’t “enough” for them anymore.
Seemingly overnight, they longed for larger backyards, quieter streets, and “better schools.” Houses were listed, minivans were purchased, and then loaded to the brim. Those families disappeared into suburban cul-de-sacs.
I, on the other hand, made a different choice. I stayed in Chicago, raising my son and daughter in the heart of the city.
It wasn’t always easy, but it made me a stronger parent, and I hope it made my kids stronger people.
I worried, but raising street-savvy kids was more important
I’ll always be concerned about my kids’ safety, but in the city, being a helicopter parent is nearly impossible. That turned out to be a good thing.
The thought of my kids riding buses and trains by themselves made me nervous — at first. Don’t even get me started on the gray hairs I earned as they ventured out onto the chaotic city streets on scooters and bicycles in their teen years.
Raising confident, independent kids was so important to me that I had no choice but to foster their independence rather than limit it.
The end result is that my kids became street-savvy, learning early to read transit maps, manage schedules, and stay alert in public spaces — skills that will serve them for the rest of their lives.
The city gave my kids more than the suburbs ever could
When you live in a big city, learning happens everywhere.
My kids have taken classes at the Art Institute, sketching among masterpieces; they’ve wandered the Museum of Science and Industry on so many snowy, cold days that they practically know it by heart. When we couldn’t go on vacation, we’d “travel” to the Garfield Park Conservatory and spend an afternoon learning about ferns and cacti.
These weren’t rare excursions but rather as accessible as a trip to the park.
Yes, our backyard is smaller than those in the suburbs, but who needs a sprawling lawn surrounded by a high fence when we have so many incredible city parks to enjoy? Lake Michigan feels like our very own swimming pool to boot.
My kids grew up playing soccer at the playground of our public school, shooting basketballs into the hoop I installed in our alley (unofficial Chicago kid play zone), ice skating along the Maggie Daley Park loop, or diving into the waves that lap on the shoreline of Foster Avenue Beach, our favorite beach along Chicago’s miles of shoreline.
My kids got a great childhood — even without a lawn or cul-de-sac.
I valued the diversity in urban living
Both of my kids hold dual citizenship, and much of our extended family lives overseas. If you visit our Chicago home, you’re likely to hear another language or two. Cultural richness, both inside our home and out and about in the city, has given my kids an extra dose of empathy and open-mindedness.
In our city neighborhood, diversity is our neighbor who shared poblano peppers from her garden in the summertime and made sure my kids spoke Spanish outside their high school classroom. Diversity is the classmate who visited our home during Ramadan, gently explaining to my children why they weren’t eating snacks.
There, of course, could be some diversity in the suburbs, but there’s nothing like urban life, where so many cultures mix.
I redefined parenting for myself
I love having my own life in the city, where I can walk to cozy coffee shops, attend concerts on a whim, or catch a quick rideshare to shop in a new-to-me neighborhood.
Suburban life always felt stifling to me. Instead, the city has always managed to keep me engaged, inspired, and connected, even when I was balancing the more mundane aspects of momdom, like nap times, toddler tantrums, and teen angst.
For this mom, Chicago has always been a place to grow, to learn, and to love.
I paid my dues as a city mom, dealing with the daily unpredictability and, yes, at times, nail-biting worry that comes with raising kids in an urban neighborhood.
I’ve lived the grit, the joy, and the chaos of true Chicago parenting, and I wouldn’t trade those stripes for anything.
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