Martin Luther King, Jr. once said: “The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important.” But at 96 years old, my great aunt Mary Selby Ferrari is living proof that you can have both — a long and full life.
Ferrari is nothing if not resilient. She contracted COVID-19 in April 2020 — during the particularly fraught early stages of the pandemic — and while she spent 26 days in the hospital, some of which she was only semi-conscious, she survived the illness unscathed. Ferrari’s husband and most of her lifelong friends died years ago. Meanwhile, Ferrari still lives on her own in the independent living section of a retirement community. She drove her own car until she was 80 years old.
“I’m enjoying life,” she told me. I have a pleasant little apartment, and my daughter lives nearby.”
Being a perpetual student has given her purpose
Ferrari graduated from The College of New Rochelle (which has since closed) with a degree in English in 1950 — a time when very few women were pursuing undergraduate degrees. Later, she went on to receive not one but two graduate degrees.
Growing up, I always looked to my great aunt as a shining example of what it means to have a purpose, but not until recently did I consider that maybe this purpose is precisely why she continues to thrive today. Studies have shown that people who can articulate their sense of purpose can live up to seven years longer than those who can’t and, moreover, have a 15% lower risk of dying.
Having a creative outlet is crucial
Ferrari began writing poetry at summer camp around age 10. It wasn’t until the 1960s that she became more seriously dedicated to her poetry, but it didn’t take long for her work to get noticed.
By engaging your mind, creative hobbies double as mindfulness exercises — not to mention bring a lot of joy and happiness and even help with relieving stress and processing trauma.
Whole, nutrient-dense foods like fish and fruit are her diet staples
There’s no denying that diet plays a massive role in longevity — and research has shown that the Mediterranean diet reduces your risk of cardiovascular disease.
While Ferrari doesn’t follow a specific diet, she enjoys lots of fish and fresh fruit and vegetables, all of which align with the principles of the Mediterranean-style eating pattern.
“I don’t eat as many sweets as I’d like to,” she told me with a laugh. After her doctor told her she was “borderline diabetic,” she “lost her taste” for sweets.
But she still enjoys eating out at restaurants with her children and grandchildren, preferring to focus on whole foods that are rich in essential nutrients.
Her faith keeps her grounded
When Ferrari expressed interest in attending college, her mother — my great-grandmother — had one condition: It had to be a Catholic school.
“I was an atheist at the time,” she told me.
But Ferrari was so determined to pursue an undergraduate education that she agreed to study at The College of New Rochelle. Before long, her interest in Christianity blossomed. To this day, she still attends Sunday mass with her daughter and prays nightly.
Longevity researcher Dan Buettner, who’s largely known as the world’s Blue Zone expert, found that one thing many centenarians have in common is that they have a strong religious faith and belong to a faith-based community — a factor that increases their lifespan by four to 14 years.
She hasn’t stopped moving
At 91, Ferrari had a total left hip replacement surgery. But that hasn’t stopped her from keeping it moving. She enjoys going for walks — sometimes outside when the weather permits — and still participates in physical therapy twice a week. She also regularly uses the NuStep exercise bike for a no-impact full-body workout.
Her efforts to stay physically active have paid off: When she recently traveled to Manhattan with her daughter to see a Broadway show, she was able to make it up the two flights of stairs — 30 steps — to get to her seat.
Her social life is rich and varied
In the longest-running study on happiness, Harvard researchers discover that staying connected to friends, family, and other people in your social circle is one of the biggest predictors of a long and happy life — even more than genes or social class. Having strong social ties can even delay physical and mental decline.
To that end, Ferrari makes it a point to meet up with other residents in her community for dinner. She also regularly spends time with her children and grandchildren.
She makes it a point to stay informed
“I used to be a great reader,” Ferrari told me. Reading may not be feasible anymore due to the condition of her eyesight, but that hasn’t stopped her from staying on top of current events.
“Now, instead of reading, I listen,” she said.
For instance, she loves listening to MSNBC at night. Sometimes, in her retirement community, there are readings of The New York Times she’ll sit in on as well.
And she hit the genetic jackpot
It would be impossible to talk about Ferrari’s long life without addressing her mother’s centenarian status. In fact, she lived until she was 104 years old.
While we don’t know exactly which genes contribute to longevity, we do know that the children of people who live long tend to remain healthy for longer, too. It’s estimated that roughly 25% of a person’s life span is determined by genetics — while the rest is contingent on other factors, like diet, lifestyle, environment, and stress management.
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